What is that even about anyway?

Batman knows the deal…

Kate. KATE! Pay attention – you like this saying don’t you? Well I do not. And I like the fact that I drank 5 beers and a glass of prosecco (thanks creepy old man staring at me through the window who went to the bar and bought me that and plonked it on the table in front of me without saying a word – gah) before smashing a “cheeky Nandos” (kill me now) even less. Yes – you heard me – the “athlete” that has written about saying no to the Friday beers ended up drinking all the bloody beers. *sigh*. This is the moment I blame my friends for telling me to live a little and have a drink. But actually, I am not going to blame anyone. Because that is pathetic.

What I WILL say is my post ‘4 bottles of Sol’ guilt is somewhat relieved by the fact I had the best strength and conditioning session EVER yesterday. Oh and I also had a very good tempo run. Smug smug smug. Not really. Anyone can lift some weights and put one foot in front of another. You just have to crack on and do it.

So – back to the House of Chicken that is worshipped by so many. I tell you – I have never seen a grown man skip into a restaurant. What is it about this place that people love so much? It’s not even that good! Oh my god put your torches down seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I love ma wiiiiings, a lot, like a lot a lot, like I think ate more wings than the boys last night.

….I definitely ate more wings than the boys last night

However, there is something to be said for this place. Besides the fact there is absolutely no way these are “happy chickens” (Mrs Mac’s turn of phrase meaning they ain’t free range – frown frown – poor chickies) there are some solid options if the man in your life is whining that he needs his whole chicken fix and that’s where your Friday night date is going to be. Looking back at the delicacies on offer last night you could quite easily have a pretty balanced meal.

You wanna know what I ordered didn’t you…. Oh you bas***ds…

• Peri Peri Hummus (shared!… kind of)
• 5 wings (shared!… I had 3)
• Chicken burger (lemon & herb – I am a massive wuss)
• Sweet potato wedges
• Macho peas (obvs)
• …ahem… 5 more wings

Stop judging me! I was very very hungry!

Anyway, the point is, you can eat out at restaurants and still be lean. Really you can. Just don’t go for dinner with me. Go for dinner with me after September when the Ironman will be finished and I will be lifting weights 4 days a week and predominantly looking to be lean instead of fuelling endurance.

So say it were September now and we went to Nandos – what would I have? Dead easy. Half chicken, mixed leaf salad, fino coleslaw and if I had been in the gym that day I’d have the sweet potato wedges. Stop rolling your eyes boys. You crack on with your whole chickens and your spicy rice and your chips. Don’t be crying to me when your England rugby shirt makes you look like Chris Moyles instead of Chris Robshaw (NB Chris Moyles has actually lost tons of weight – it’s pretty incredible but you get my point).

I realise we have touched on the subject of dining out before and I have to try and cast my mind back to 6 months previous before I started the endurance training. Please remember that I currently get away with 1000kcal servings of oats for breakfast because I easily burn them in the training I am doing! When you see “fit chicks” on Instagram or some lunch venue flogging a superfood smoothie or “clean” cookies – they almost definitely ain’t the foods you want to be targeting if your goal is to lose weight. Don’t get me wrong! Fruit over McDonalds? Every damn day. But those “clean” versions of brownies and truffles and bla bla bla – 90% of the time they are made with mushed up dried fruit like dates or pureed nuts. Oh hey there MASSIVE carb and calorie bomb.

I am writing this whilst propped up on a billion pillows on my bed because I am utterly exhausted. Why so tired Cat? You only did half your bike ride! – oh shut up will ya – I smashed the swim ok?! The reason I am so much more tired than normal is because alcohol also affects your sleep. Jeez. Thanks a bunch “guys who invented booze”. Make it so appealing and then properly screw us over why don’t you. So yeah, I didn’t sleep at all well last night. In fact if you got a response to your message at 2:37am this morning – I wasn’t partying, I was counting sheep.

If you guys have regular places or meals that you like to go out to/for and you want to keep them in your life but you also want to smash those pesky little fat cells then drop me a link to the menu – I bet you I can find options that will stop you being billy no mates on Sunday afternoon when everyone else is fighting over the yorkshire pudding left in the middle of the table.

For now though, Nandos, it’s been a pleasure but I won’t be seeing you again for quite some time – hang on hang on – IS THAT AN UNLIMITED FROZEN YOGHURT MACHINE?!

C xxxx

Phhheeewwwwwww-eeeeee! What a week! As I write this my current blog views tally is sitting at 298 – 298! Unreal, I’m surprised the internet hasn’t gone down. Kim K takes her clothes off to break the internet, I just write about banana bread. Word.

So what shall we talk about today then?! Well I thought I would first start by pointing to the three little bars in the top right hand corner of the screen. Can you see them? Well stop reading this nonsense and go sign up so you get my posts by email. I know I know, I am essentially Bill Gates in lycra clad female form. (Totally didn’t spend hours at 6am this morning googling how to do that).

Let’s get cracking shall we? Oh my god, there is a fly in my living room and it is driving me MENTAL. I tried to murder him with a rolled up copy of Women’s Health this morning but he was having none of it. Little buzzy creep. Oh yeah, I am working from home today, not just on the skive, best just clarify that. Working from home is great! I am within metres of my fridge at any given time. Very very important when you eat as much as I do. I actually think I am starting to scare people with the amount I am eating for my training. On one day last week I ate 1kg of greek yoghurt. Bahaha. How gross is that?! Don’t copy me. I was being horrendously lazy at work and couldn’t be bothered to engage my brain so I lived on Greek yoghurt and fruit all day. Very bad choice if you are looking to lean down so seriously, don’t copy me.

But WHAT do I normally eat? Well I realise not many people are training for an Ironman but essentially if you are training on a daily basis then you can still give this a read and hopefully get some ideas/be inspired to get some cooking underway this weekend.

Lunchtime. This morning I had a MASSIVE training session. I won’t bore you with the details because only die hard gym-mers want to know my sets and reps but it was essentially an hour of lifting heavy ass weights until I was crying for my Mum and then I had to do a 30 minute tempo run. I think the guy on the treadmill next to me was pretty scared. You wanna see something alarming? Come to Camden Fitness First when I’m trying to smash out 10km/h runs whilst listening to the new Prodigy album. Fierce.

……a very good place to start. Ahhhh The Sound of Music. Talk about going from one extreme to another!

So! Whaddya ‘ave ‘ere Ms Mac?! Well I’ll tell you. On the left we have a lovely selection of hacked up sweet potatoes and on the right there we have enough halved posho red peppers to feed a family of a gazillion. Oh and then in the second image we have 1kg of chicken breast, some pots of fancy salt and two frying pans. Ta daaaa. This is how I prep my food. The sweet potatoes got a tablespoon of olive oil (watch Urban Energie give me grief for not using coconut oil – I LIKE IT OK?!) and some sea salt and then the red peppers got nada except some salt. The sweet potatoes went into a mega hot oven (200c) and the red peppers went under the grill until they were turning black. Be braaaaave – the more charred the yummier. Trust me. The chicken got dumped in the pan with no oil at all and got a big pinch of smoked sea salt. TIP OF THE DAY: Don’t cook your chicken. Whaaaaa?! No seriously, cook it until it’s almost done and then get it out out out the pan and into a tub or a bowl. The remaining heat will finish cooking it and you won’t end up with god awful dry chicken breasts. Blergh. (***don’t bother yelling at me about salmonella – I’m pretty sure I have never once made myself ill)

Now dat der food is enough for me forrrr…. let’s be generous and say – 5 days? 5 lunches? Probably about right. But obviously you aren’t all enormous pigs like me and won’t eat bowls of salad this size:

Oh yes I bloody well did. That was my lunch today. Ha! No not ALL the food in the tupperware but that entire bowl there? Yeah – I ate all that. I’m definitely going to need a nap before I take my girly for a glass of wine at 6pm (obviously I’m not drinking – I’m a bloody athlete, sheesh, come on guys) ——- (I hate my life – I want prosecco)

Now does this help with an idea about how easy food prep is? The night I cooked those ‘taters, chicken and peppers I also made 2 protein banana berry loaf thingies. Time it took to make the whole lot? 45 minutes. Jamies 15 minute meals? Don’t make me laugh. Bring it on Oliver – I’ve got this nailed.

Helpful? Yes? No? Just want the cake recipe? Ok fiiiiiiiiiine.

But before I hand it over (please sir – can I have some more? Yes yes just wait your bloody turn) – remember gang – carbs are for fuelling workouts and training. This cake is clearly epic and will probably change your life but it will still make us fat if we smash it and sit on our bums.

Banana Berry Bonanza Boodlydoodly Brilliant Bake (what the hell just happened there?!)

• 250g Egg White (again – two chicks from Waitrose or 3 whole eggs)
• 200g Self Raising Flour (you can be a hero and use wholemeal if you want)
• 3 Very Ripe Bananas
• 30g Gold Standard Casein (you can buy this from Holland & Barrett or leave it out if you don’t want protein, why you wouldn’t want it is beyond me but whatever)
• 100g Frozen berries
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp bicarb soda

Again, you know how complicated I like things to be so here’s how you make it. Is your oven preheated to 180c? Yes? Good…

• Mash the bananas and chuck them in a big bowl
• Chuck in all the other ingredients except the berries
• Mix them together
• Chuck the berries in and fooooold gently (or you’ll end up with mental coloured cake)
• Pour batter into loaf tin (line it if you ever want to get the cake out)
• Bake – cool – don’t eat the whole bloody thing

Wanna know what mine looked like

So, there we go! Sign up for the emails, safeguard your place in heaven by sharing this blog with anyone and everyone (Facebook, Insta, email – help yourselves!) and I will see you guys either sometime over the weekend or bright and early on Monday morning!

phhhhfffffllllpphhllllfffffhppphhhhh (that’s me saying bye bye through a mouthful of cake)

C xxxxx

Well – yesterday was pretty average. In fact I’d go so far as to say it was boring. Yep. Totally mundane.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

When I woke up this morning and checked the stats it turns out I had 267 views yesterday! That’s double the record so far. Pah! I was so excited I essentially skipped the 4 miles home and even contemplated smashing out some chin ups on the door frame before bed – until I remembered I can’t do them yet and crawling under the covers at 10pm seemed like a much better idea.

So basically I’m famous now. That’s how this works. I don’t care if “Simple Bites” gets 66,675 hits a month – I got 267. The end.

Obviously I am only joking. So let’s move on and talk about something everyone loves. BOOOOOOOOOZE. Oh you’re all about to seriously hate me and I’m not even sorry. Actually I am slightly cowering as I type this because this is such a hit and miss topic. I could bamboozle you with talk of cortisol and alcohol and your liver and hypoglycemia but that isn’t going to do anyone any favours so I am going to attempt a “this is what happens” in terms that cannot be confuzzled. Here goes:

• You get up at 6am and do a spinning class or run to work or smash out an upper body weights session

YOUR BODY IS NOW BURNING MORE CALORIES THAN NORMAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE TRAINED – WIN – BYE BYE FAT

• You leave and you eat your eggs/oats/protein shake and feel damn virtuous

YOUR BODY SNAFFLES UP THE CARBS AND USES THEM TO REPLACE THE ENERGY YOU HAVE JUST USED – NOT STORED AS FAT – ALSO WIN

• You go to work (sorry fellow rat racers)

YOUR BODY IS STILL, EVEN NOW, BURNING FAT MORE THAN IF YOU HAD JUST HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON – COME ON!

• It’s lunch time and you are going out with colleagues, it’s also Friday, it’s also sunny, BALLS to a salad and a sparkling water, I worked hard this morning, let’s get some prosecco

YOUR BODY IS BURNING SO MUCH F—- OH NO WAIT, WHAT’S THIS? ALCOHOL? HOLD IT LADS! NO MORE FAT BURNING! WE GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE! CHUCK THOSE CRISPS ON HER THIGHS! WE CAN DEAL WITH THEM LATER! OH GOD MORE ALCOHOL! QUICK GET THAT BLT ON HER HIPS!

……….see where I’m going with this? Rubbish isn’t it? Damn you prosecco! Damn you and your bubbly cheery giggly fun! And YOU G&T – you’re so damn sophisticated! Well you’re not fooling anyone! Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever drink. Are you joking? My sister is a wine buyer – I would be sectioned for a mental disorder if I refused free vintage champagne. However, what I AM saying is this…. don’t think that your quick Sauvignon after work isn’t going to have any side effects. Don’t think that your hour with your trainer isn’t going to be affected when you get home and smash half a bottle of red with your nice lean steak. I know it’s crap and I know it’s not fair but trust me it get’s easier.

Let’s all hop on the wagon and drink soda water and have six packs. Pffft. No thanks. No, let’s just try and avoid the toxic stuff as often as possible and save it for special occasions? Does that sound fair? When I say special occasions I don’t mean every Friday night guys. It doesn’t work like that sorry. To give you a rough idea of a night out? Oh you’re about to punch me.

• 2 Jagerbombs
• 4 Large glasses of white wine
• 1 G&T
• Shared chips with co-worker
• Sandwich when you get home

DO NOT SHOOT THE MESSENGER

You are looking at 1800kcals for that one “tame” night out….

You’re not dumb. You probably already know this. But actually it isn’t the calories that freak me out. It’s the science behind working your ass off all week and not realising every time you share a bottle of wine with your mate your body stops all fat burning. Whyyyyyyyyyyy?!

So…. the way I tackled it? Learn to say “I’m not drinking” and then when people give you sh*t for it just get over it. Seriously. Learn to enjoy Slimline tonic WITHOUT the gin. Don’t like it? Get involved with sparkling water and a boat load of fresh lime. Yeah it sounds crap but you don’t want to be going for the sugary non-alcoholic options. Well – actually – you can do whatever you like! But if you really want to hit some goals then this is the reality.

Shall we lighten up a bit? Cake? Cake anyone?! It’s got protein in it!

I actually had a good chat with my lovely friend Beth last night. We were discussing how “committed” I am to the healthy eating and the training. Guys…. On Saturday afternoon I drank four pints of cider, I don’t know how many glasses of prosecco, I don’t know how many rums with full fat coke (WHAT?! No I didn’t? Did I?!) and then on Sunday my diet consisted of 3 eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, two slices of toast big enough to kill a duck (have you seen the scene in About A Boy? Love it), 2 bottles of full sugar lilt, tea with sugar oh and a full 13 inch pizza. Oh and I lay on the sofa ALL DAY.

………..I am sooooooo committed. Gimme back my halo I’ve got health and fitness to preach over here!

You see my point though? Give it big licks in the gym and stay off the chardonnay as much as you can. Treat yourself now and again. It’s damn hard to begin with but it get’s better.

(as much as you can = most of the time to begin with, until you learn to say NO to the Rekorderlig every time the sun comes out)

Aaaaaaaaaay whaddya know?! Suns out! Beer garden anyone?!

……….no thanks – I’ve got Ironman training to do.

Cheers! C xx

P.S. I actually AM tee total now until September 15th – be nice.

What’s happening y’all?! – oh god I really cannot pull that kind of chat off.

…..hello – much better

So, huuuuuuuge day yesterday! This wee bloggy was read in 17 countries! SEVENTEEN! Mental. I am so proud and so grateful – I’d like to thank my muuuum and my daaaad and my sponsoooor. Ha. But really though, thank you, I hope you are enjoying it.

It has become de rigueur (oooh faaancy) for me to ask various people what I should write about each day and today we are going to discuss these guys:

No no no – not the bloody cartoon – the fruit! The mighty banana. The endurance athletes best friend, however, lean body fans beware, these little yellow scoundrels are demons in disguise. What?! Yes really, I vividly remember weeping into my keyboard this time last year when I was advised to cut out the banana (I wanted to be super super lean with mega mega abs and wasn’t doing any endurance training at that stage). Ok maybe I didn’t cry but I was A. pretty shocked and B. pretty confused. Let’s break it down into some pro’s and con’s (remember guys – I am not a professional – I am merely burbling away about my experiences)

Banana pro’s

• Easily digested so very useful for the budding endurance athletes like moi that need to bump up their carb intake during training sessions longer than an hour
• Good source of fiber – we won’t go into more detail on that one, I leave the toilet humour to Maggie Mac
• Good source of potassium, Vit B6, Vit C and various minerals and antioxidants
• They are portable – surprisingly handy when you spend your life with a bag crammed with food

Banana con’s – booooo

• High sugar content – this translates to carbs and if you ain’t working your butt off in the gym or out in the fresh air then your body is going to store these carbs as fat – damn you fruit! I thought we were friends!
• High(ish) calorie content – I mean in relative terms. At around 110 calories per average sized ‘nana you’d be better with a boiled egg and some salad if you’re looking to drop the lb’s

Well – this is pretty poop isn’t it? Fret not! We can all enjoy the banana in it’s all it’s glory (stop sniggering over there) if we use them to support training/sweating/weights/running/whatever makes you feel like you’re going to need to lie down. How do I know this? Well – as an office worker (someone has to pay the bills), before I started training at any given opportunity I had to wake up to the fact that I spent most of my day on my arse. Therefore, my arse was not moving. Therefore I did not need any “fuel”. BUT – enter early morning training or post work sessions and suddenly the banana was back in the greek yoghurt and everything in the world was good again!

My incredibly wonderful fantastic colleague Kate loves bananas – don’t you Kate? She ran the London Marathon in 3 hours and 44 minutes this year. WHAT A NOB. *ahem* – sorry Kate, love you really, well done, not jealous…. So Kate is clearly an active girl, she plays tennis after work too…. what does she have before her tennis sessions? Da da da daaaaa (meant to sound like that strange ta daaaa you get in cartoons)

Whilst we are on the topic, my OTHER wonderful friend, yummy mummy of the decade Mrs Rachel Morrow was on the phone this morning asking for the banana bread recipe. Apparently it is popular. Here is the evidence:

So – without further ado, my rather yummy Banana Protein Bread Recipe

Thou shalt need:

• 200g Self Raising Flour (I like to mix wholemeal and regular white)
• 3 Very ripe bananas
• 1/3 jar of apple sauce (I used Colmans Bramley Apple – gold star to anyone who makes their own though! It’s only boiled down apples!)
• 200g egg whites (You can buy the carton in the picture from waitrose or just use three whole eggs)
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
• 2 teaspoons of stevia OR 50g caster sugar

As previously mentioned I like really complicated recipes that require a lot of brain power…..

Method:

• Mash the bananas
• Put all the ingredients in a bowl and mix together
• Pour into a loaf tin
• Put into a preheated oven at 180c for around 45 minutes or until a knife comes out clean

I know… NASA just called – they need a new astro physic’s guy, thing, person…. BASICALLY IT IS DEAD EASY AND NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

So, there we go! Yummy yummy bread which is perfect for slicing up and having post or pre workout – or don’t slice it up and leave it for your hungover friends to demolish in one afternoon. No cardio required.

Until next time! Muchos lovos C xxx

***If you don’t want to see selfies of me then close your browser now***

…now let’s get something straight – I am NOT an arrogant person and I do not consider myself a show off. At all. If you know me well you will know that I am actually a complete wimp and I am very sensitive so be nice.

A few people have asked me to do a general piece about how I have got to where I am now in terms of training, body composition and diet. I must forewarn you that I have had FIVE shots of coffee today so this may well be a slightly incoherent post! In fact I think my hands might be shaking – oh dear – that is either coffee or nerves. Told you I was soft.

Let’s rewind to 2000 and my first gym membership, now I am not going to bore you all with bla bla my childhood bla bla, also because I promised myself when I started this blog I would keep personal life OUT OF IT. I think that is important. Let’s assume I spent ten years “training” in the gym. Predominantly cardio, every diet under the sun, weight fluctuations up and down etc etc. Quick leap in time to 2011….

Ok – so we can see I like a drink and we can see I am in average shape. Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of people will be thinking “you look fine!” but for myself I wanted to be strong and lean and confident. #gettheviolinsout

So another quick leap in time to the beginning of 2014. I start weight training. I start seriously overhauling what I am eating and I stop drinking booze (for the most part). To break it down these are the things that I believe were most important in my “progress”

1. I got professional advice – I know, stop rolling your eyes, but seriously, this was invaluable.
2. I stopped kidding myself that I was eating healthily. Just because you eat salad now and again and tend to go for the “healthy” snack option I can almost guarantee that if you aren’t seeing progress it is because your diet is off.
3. Speaking of diet, I cannot say this enough, it does not matter how hard you work in the gym, how many classes you do, how many squats you do – if you don’t fix your diet you will not get the results you are looking for (of course this depends on your goals)
4. Learn about food. Learn about the importance of protein. Learn about sugar. Don’t know how to learn – ask the experts.
5. Start training with weights. Real weights. Not sit ups or body pump classes. Do those classes for cardio or for fun but if you want a body that will stay strong and lean you need to get the heavy kg’s out.
6. Learn to be patient. It takes a DAMN long time to see results. Don’t think after three weeks you’ll have abs, or definition or be a clothes size smaller. You want to know the truth? It took me A YEAR to get to where I wanted to be.
7. Once you find something that works, keep doing it. Don’t like chicken for lunch? Don’t have it then. Don’t like going to the gym when it’s busy? Go for a walk instead. If you find something that works be consistently consistent with it.
8. Don’t give up. Don’t compare yourself to other people either. So what if they are doing something different to you – you are not them. See points 6 and 7  – you have to keep going. Fell off the wagon by having the birthday cake in the office? Don’t go and smash a takeaway for dinner because you think you’ve ruined it. That’s ridiculous. Shake it off and get on with it.
9. Be proud. People winding you up for drinking sparkling water instead of beer on a Tuesday evening? Let them laugh. You’ll be damn pleased you avoided the booze and the late night binge when you start to see results.
10. Don’t believe the hype – it really is as simple as good real food, training bloody hard, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep and avoiding the processed crap. The media absolutely LOVES a headline for the Health & Fitness pages. Seriously though, raspberry ketones, detox tea, juice cleanses, 30 day sit up challenges —— IT IS ALL NONSENSE

I hope that sheds some light on the reality of progress……

“How did you get your abs Cat?”

…..firstly, they aren’t always there – they come and go, I assumed once you were lean you were lean 24/7 – the girls on Instagram though? They prepare for WEEKS for those photo shoots. It’s absolutely OK to be softer in real life. If you want to be ripped with abs 24/7 then prepare to be a damn boring person!

This is what I look like now – generally day to day, unless I go home for a week and abuse the fridge full of Marks & Spencers deli food (damn you mezze platters and cheese and posh crisps!)…

It’s kind of hard for me to tell you exactly how I did it and this is down to two reasons…. One – I am now training for an Ironman, this involves training twice a day every day and eating an awful lot – it’s intense and science-y, yes, science-y. The second reason is I cannot shortchange my coaches/friends that have got me to where I am….. it really does come down to them yelling at me when I whined that I wasn’t getting anywhere and them yelling at me when I doubted myself. Honestly – I am an absolute TREAT to work with.

So – 9th June 2015 – less than 100 days until Ironman Wales…. A mere 18 months since I started training properly. If that doesn’t prove that you can make massive progress and massive changes then nothing else will.

I hope this is received as it is intended. My little blog is about fuelling after all – we will get back to the good stuff tomorrow I promise.

….oh and don’t worry Wil – I will dig out some fun facts about our beloved H2O for you very soon.

C xx

Right, those of you who know me know I can be a bit…. excitable – yes – let’s go with that description. When I was little my mother made me go for about twenty (more exaggeration) hearing tests because I was way louder than anyone else. My hearing was perfect. I was just EXCITABLE. Jeez mum. To add insult to injury I was told to “be quiet” whilst at the 6 Nations in 2014 (bear in mind I am 28) because I was cheering too much (cheering = shouting abuse at the ref but whatever). In my haze of Magners and egged on by my lairy cousin I responded with the term “oh I’m soooooooo sorry…. I’ll dial it down to 90% fun”

Sarcastic little madam…

However, sometimes my exitedededness (what the hell is the plural of excited) manifests itself in my opinions on certain manners. And this isn’t always a good thing. For example, I have little tolerance for BS in the media when it comes to health and fitness. Case in point, half a dozen articles feature in the Daily Mail Online today. Stop bloody judging me for reading it. I don’t READ it – I scan the homepage and mock the moronic “news articles” that are featured. It makes me feel like a better person. Not really, but it is entertaining. SO, one article in particular really grated on me today

Now then, I am no doctor and I sure as hell didn’t make it into Oxford but putting the science aside – let’s think for a minute who will be reading this? What an insane message to send out. Why don’t they just write “Smoking can actually make your lungs stronger” – Get a bloody grip. And to make it even WORSE they had articles about how diet ready meals would get you ready for summer oh and apparently we should be doing the diet that works for our age and lifestyle. *BAM* punching the DM right in the face.

Ok, I feel better now, I had to get that off my chest. And it wasn’t just a random rant! I am asked quite a few questions each day about training or nutrition. Remember though, I am no expert. Not by a long shot. However, whilst I may not hold any actual credentials (besides a very basic course on Nutrition) I do know a little bit in terms of what works for me. Shall we do a little list? Yes why not.

• Stop reading, or at least stop believing, the media nonsense – the vast majority of it is based on ONE little thing that will most likely be proved WRONG again in a years time (look what happened with the war on Fat – oh shock horror! It is actually good for us in the right amounts/types)

• Patience truly is a virtue. A PT I know posted something on Facebook today about being consistently consistent. Sounds like a stupid thing to say but if you break it down it really does make sense. You can’t be “on it” with diet and training one week and then go smashing all the takeaways and all the wines for two or three days and then whine that the diet and training isn’t working. Eat well, train hard, do it again. It can take MONTHS to get somewhere.

• Give yourself something to work towards. When I started training seriously I made a few goals. I wanted to be 19% body fat and I wanted to be able to do full unassisted chin ups. I got the body fat nailed after around 6 months but I am still working on the chin ups. I’ll be damned if I’m givig up on them! And then of course I decided to sign up for the Ironman. I wouldn’t particularly recommend picking something that extreme but I would recommend having a think about what you really want to achieve and then work your ass off. Then work it off again. And again……

I’ve had a few messages from people now saying they have tried the chia seed jam recipe! I am LOVING hearing from people and I do a little jig of pride and triumph when I do so please do let me know if you like something – even let me know if you don’t like something! Apparently some of my writing can get waffly, if so, tell me! Say “hey, Cat, dial down the waffle by 10%” – “oh ok so it’s 90% on everything now is it?” Joking – I won’t mind really… much… at all…. loads.

So, I didn’t prep my food last night for the week and my flat is a bombsite after hosting an after party (SEE – I do have a life outside training and cooking). Is it sad that I am genuinely looking forward to getting home and cleaning?

…….yes – it is 100% lame

Until next time mon ami…. C xxx

Sunshine = happiness

Happiness = SUPER RIDICULOUSLY CHEERY UPBEAT BLOG

Heyoooooooooooooo! How is everyone? You? Good? Over there in the back? You good?! Awesome. Check out this weather! Laaaaaaaaaaaaa – Bill Withers is a happy happy guy today – there’s boatloads of sunshine!

Cat what is that title? Oh right yeah sorry… who’s seen the youtube video of the Lego men with Eddie Izzard? If you haven’t then I implore you to watch it. Right now. Here is the link. Bloody Penne Arrabiata – pasta is the food of the devil! Naaat…. pasta is awesome if you’ve done ten rounds of HIIT and you’re carb loading for your long run in the morning – oh yeeeah.

Now whilst the others brush up on their comedy let’s talk about food. Again! I’m going for dinner tonight to my oldest friends house. We met her already, I don’t remember why, but we did. Oh yes now I remember! Green eggs and sourdough! Jess Best – East London hipster that makes me go to bars with no street signs. So, Jess has invited me for dinner, lovely! Our conversation goes like this:

……this girl is a legend. Not ONLY does she invite me for dinner and laugh at my rubbish jokes and woeful tales of horrendous dating but she also caters to my ever changing requirements for vegetables versus entire carrot cakes. So, as we can see, tonight we will be having a delightful feast of curly wurly veg and some kind of salmon thingy. Lovely!

Hands up who regularly starts the week or the day or the night out with brilliant intentions of eating white fish and steamed veg or avoiding carbs or avoiding booze or not eating any chocolate or fitting into their spray on jeans for their night out in 5 days? *my hand is up*. But trust me gang – it’s a laaaaaaaame way to live. Instead focus on the long term. Think about making nice tasting choices as opposed to taking out a restraining order on all things processed or potentially threatening to your burgeoning six pack. You don’t have to be billy no mates to be lean. Promise.

I had more Facebook affection this week! Boat loads of it! I couldn’t get my head in the lift this morning – jokes – I never take the lift, stairs for our derrieres….. BOOM! How about that for some rhyming! Where’s my GCSE English Language teacher. Check that out!  *ahem* moving on… I got this message:

So, I get asked questions like this A LOT. What can you eat when the foods on offer are either rubbish or non-existent. Well, let me share a little list with you. I compiled this list last year when I was super focused on my macros and what I was doing with carb cycling and training (another lifetime – once I have done the Ironman I will do lots of posts about stuff like that. Kris will be thrilled, he loves it when I talk about protein shakes and reps for Jesus – naaaaaaaaat)

Now granted, a number of these require recipes and guess what?! I know someone that has a recipe book! The first person to guess who wrote it wins a cooking session with moi. That’s an amazing prize. You’d get all my witty chitter chatter face to face!

….ok so the competition thing isn’t going to work, here are the details – http://www.urbanenergiefitness.com/the-get-lean-recipe-book/

Back to the important stuff. Portable foods that aren’t dust…. “dust? dust anyone?”

No dust for me thank you very much! Ben, let’s focus on you for a moment, if you want a meal that is going to give your body some solid nutrition whilst removing the requirement for microwaved chemicals then I can thoroughly recommend oats. With protein powder. And some fruit. You’re an active guy so get stuck in. The oats are going to provide you with slow releasing carbs and the protein is going to make you big and strong. OR skip the protein and make it with milk. You don’t even need heat! If you put the oats in a bowl or Tupperware box the night before and just cover them with milk then they will go all lovely and bircher muesli-ish. In the morning you throw in as much fruit as you can get, maybe some dried fruit, you daredevil! (Legal clause – I am not a professional, do not take my advice as gospel, it is just an idea, mmmkay?)

Snacks – nuts. That’s all I need to say. Not bloody dry roasted. I’m talking about raw nuts. Like almonds or cashews or pretty much whichever ones you prefer. There’s waaaay too many reasons to get on the nut wagon but they are portable, don’t need refrigerating and you can have them with very dark chocolate (I go 90% – brave girl) if you want something slightly more exciting.

I was going to talk about gluten and how ridiculously out of hand the whole gluten intolerance, not eating bread trend has become but I am pushing the limit for your attention spans so I will save that for another day. As a heads up though – YES I know some people are actually intolerant but if you are not and you are avoiding real bread for no other reason then get ready to hear the phrase “you are missing the wood for the trees” – that phrase has been branded into my head with a bloody hot poker. Kind of. It’s more that I’ve been yelled at loads to understand it is the foundations of your diet that make the biggest differences not the ridiculous gluten free baking powder you picked up in Wholefoods (yar I totes did that..) The next person to tell me they haven’t been to the doctor to have blood tests but they are gluten intolerant will be met with – “OF COURSE YOU BLOODY BLOAT IF YOU SMASH AN ENTIRE FAMILY SIZED WHITE BAGUETTE BEFORE YOUR PIZZA!!”

Wooooossaaaaaaaa…… calm

Shall we have another meme? I love a meme. (meeeem? meemee? meh)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then (little bit of Ace for you there)…

Get out in the sun and get that Vitamin D gang. I’ve got a night out to prepare for and there ain’t no way I’m getting these “abs” out in my short white shirt if I ain’t got a tan.

Ciao for now

C xxx

Today is a very very sad day. For TWO reasons. A double whammy. Firstly, at training last night I had zilch zero nada strength, in fact I was so rubbish my coach sent me home 20 minutes early. In his Spanish accent “Cat, wot are you eeeeating? Tell me what you aaate yesterrrrrday (roll the rrrrRRRrrr)”. So I told him and he just stared at me. Then he said “go home – I cannot trrrRRrrain you more today”. Oh dear. Teachers pet no more Macpherson. But all is not lost! I went home, ate a lot of food and went to bed early and I will no more be lacking in energy for training. Problem with your energy/motivation? Determine the cause and fix it. Bosh. Mine boiled down to too much walking and not enough carb-ing. Who would have thought eh? “Go and eat some carbs Cat” – errrrrrr ok!

Far more importantly though – I think there is something wrong with me….

I was really looking forward to that this morning! Old faithful of Quark, chia seed jammy stuff, almonds and oats. I have NEVER not been able to finish my breakfast. I must be ill. Call the bloody doctor.

Moving on! ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’. I thought about this last night/this morning whilst cooking and boxing up food and trying to take a half decent picture of my backside in the mirror (wearing jeans mum – it’s ok I promise). Over the past 16 months I have come across a lot (a lot a lot a lot) of people that have inspired or given me food for though (that’s a metaphor guys – actual food would obviously be better). Let’s start with my Aussie pal from down under… Miss Chocolate Chilli Mango. (http://chocolatechillimango.com/) She actually wasn’t my pal – I don’t remember how I found her but I’m bloody glad I did. She does protein baking like no one else and she’s nice and she responds to emails and her food is friggin’ amazing. If you want to break your 4pm chocolate habit then I strongly suggest you get her protein baking book and get your oven preheated. It will save me the embarrassment of STEALING HER RECIPES and forgetting where they came from. “I’m flattering you Viv! Don’t throw that spatula at me!”

I know I go on about Instagram but honestly, it’s really good. It can be tough sometimes when you’re starting out and you want to be healthy and all your mates are taking the piss and no one understands why you’re suddenly bringing weird lunches into work or spending Sunday evenings grilling chicken or only drinking slimline tonic in the pub on a Wednesday night (try this, kind of feels like a real drink – I know it isn’t, but trust me you will be glad if you cut down on the booze, it’s essentially a fast track to a better body). But I loved following people that were talking about training and food. Probably because I like talking about it. If you DON’T like talking about it then follow someone doing something you DO like. Follow the pro-athletes or the chefs or whatever you find inspiring. I change a lot of fancy recipes to make them fit into my weekly mission of lean meals that support my training. Oh I’ve just remembered I promised to write about steak and chips! Wait there we will get to it…

Just don’t be this guy…..

Steak and chips! Girls, do you know how to cook steak properly? I thought I did. I WAS WRONG. Here is a foolproof method. Get a griddle pan (please tell me you know what a griddle pan is….. oh for gods sake)

Ok we have the griddle pan. Put it on the heat. Do NOT put anything in it. Leave it on the heat until it is smoking hot (like your body in six months when you join #teamurban – eyyyohhhhh!). I mean really bloody hot though. To test how hot it is put the palm of your hand in the middle – jokes, seriously don’t do that – throw some drops of water at it and they should sizzle like mad. Ok, steaks, pat them dry with kitchen towel, pick off stuck bits of kitchen towel, rub a little oil onto the steak if it is fillet, leave it alone if it is rump/rib eye/sirloin. Salt them, a lot, with real sea salt. Pepper them, moderately, with real freshly ground black pepper. Ok now you can put the steak in the pan, gently press it down. NOW LEAVE IT ALONE. Don’t turn it, don’t touch it, just leave it alone. You want it to sizzle a lot – if it’s getting too smokey open the damn window. Ok, has it been one minute? Yes? Turn it over – oooooh – marvel at the caramelised crust and general professionalism of your cooking. Now leave it alone again. One more minute, this is where it starts to depend on how you like your steak. You need to consider the thickness of the steak and the resting time. One minute on mega high heat for a 2cm thick steak will give you rare. I’m not telling you how to cook it any other way because I do not agree with it….

……….ok ok – HERE!

• Blue: About 1 min each side
• Rare: About 1½ mins per side
• Medium rare: About 2 mins per side
• Medium: About 2¼ mins per side

That’s for a 2cm thick sirloin – bump it up by 30 seconds for something thicker and don’t forget to rest the meat. You want to take it OUT the pan, put it on a chopping board and leeeeave it aloooooone. Rest it for half the time you cooked it (this goes for ALL meat by the way). I don’t have any images of my home cooked steak but if you want an absolute beast of a meal go to The Bull & Last near Tufnell Park. They do a Cote De Boeuf for two people and it’s mind blowing. I had it the other week – looksie here

Ok, chips! I want to try these! http://www.epicurious.com/recipes-menus/crispy-potato-recipes-gallery/1 – if anyone does these will you let me know how they go? I think I will try them tomorrow night.

Now this is getting loooooong so I’m going to finish on a bit of pride – for me – sorry, but it’s MY blog.

Little faaaanfaaaaaare…….

Errrrrrrrrrrr – how amazing is that?! Clint and I are only really friends through friends, isn’t that right Clint? What a lad though – #teamawesome – or actually you could become part of #teamurban – even better!

Ok, enough for today, I need to try and finish this breakfast…

C xxx

No I haven’t lost it… here is a fact of the day. Disney fans, The Lion King? Rafiki’s song? WELL IT ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING… Behold:

My Google history is WEIRD. Bananas though – love em or hate em they are a blummin’ miracle of nature. I won’t bore you with all the facts but instead provide a lovely little link to some of the benefits – http://foodmatters.tv/articles-1/25-powerful-reasons-to-eat-bananas

However, bananas are also carby little natural sugar loaded bombs. Consumed at random (one guy in my office prides himself on eating nearly 4 a day – that’s just daft, and he ain’t no Gerard Butler, if you know what I’m sayin’). So we like to keep these monkey treats for hard training sessions. OR we wait until they are awful and squishy and half crawling into the bin and then we smash them up and bake them! Mwah ha ha! Death by cake to you Mr Banana!

But how do we make itttttttttttt – like zees!

Seriously try it. It’s yummy. You can also add random stuff like walnuts or cinnamon – ooh actually I forgot the cinnamon! Put half a teaspoon in!

I think it is important to eat cake. I also think it is important to look forward to meal times. If we don’t enjoy our meals then what’s the bloody point. We may as well get some of those nutrition bag thingies from the hospital and give up. What is life without food? Damn depressing that’s what.

………..oh my god – maybe I could add peanut butter to the banana bread

FOCUS CAT

Another thing I make every single week – I know, I’m pretty exciting aren’t I? Is… Chia seed jam. Ready for this? Make sure you read the recipe properly. You don’t want to mess this one up.

Now that stuff is seriously brilliant and so easy I can do it when I’m hungover AND wearing pyjamas at 10pm at night. Why chia seeds? They go all gloopy and thicky when you add them to liquid so you don’t have to faff on with that pectin nonsense. No thanks Wholefoods I don’t want to spend £78.95 on your mango chia seed pudding for breakfast. That’s what we call daylight robbery. This will cost around a tenner to make an entire batch and it will last all week. That’s we call economy. Or genius. Or clever. Or all of the above.

So get down to Lidl and buy some berries guys. It’s really berry good.

…..no she didn’t – OH YES I DID.

Hope everyone is loving Monday. I am. Little Miss Positive Pants over here in the corner.

Look at this guy! He loves Monday too!

Jam packed post today…

JAM…..packed

Fine I give up. Mondays suck.

Let’s talk chips tomorrow. Steak and chips. I’m cooking for my beaut friend Lisa on Wednesday. Lucky lady that she is.

Much love! C xxxx

Now then…. I am pretty sure today is Monday and I am meant to be at work. I have spent the weekend in a daze of time/date confused-ness (I bloody know that isn’t a word Ben – pipe down). THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PARTY.

Very very bad… Friday got out of control – very very quickly. Damn you Aussies! I stay home and train and sleep and act like a 50 year old for months on end, I get real strong results and then you nightmares come to town and it all goes out the window for 36 hours…. Could be worse though. I was so dehydrated yesterday my stomach looked pretty lean when I rolled off the sofa to answer the door to the pizza man. Exhibit A.

However – through my fog of zero sleep and general throwing of all caution to the wind with training and diet I have managed to cobble together some thoughts on a few more things and I figured hey, it’s raining, let’s write some stuff.

Following me on Instagram yet? Some of you are…. Word. Some of you aren’t. Booo. That’s ok, let’s crack on whilst we’re here. So, we can deduce that I am not yet an OAP and can still go out and have fun (don’t wear Louboutins to Fabric and rave to drum and bass for 6 hours and walk out to be blinded by sunlight – you don’t look cool or clever – obviously I’m lying, I looked real cool). The point is – I have not trained since Thursday. This is down to a combination of factors.

a) I got overexcited by the prospect of social interaction mixed with strong beverages

b) My body is feeling very weak and tired. The cause is yet to be confirmed but I would imagine it is down to the 2 hour swim session I had on Thursday with my swimming instructor

c) We already know I am all or nothing. Yesterday I was all pizza and sofa and nothing for training

Now normally I’d start freaking out – but actually I’m ok with it today. I’m sitting here in my sweatpants and listening to the cars splashing the puddles outside and I’ve just started “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” on Netflix because I’m an utter loser and I watch this rubbish for fun. Another reason I am not freaking out is because I spoke to my coach earlier and he confirmed that if my legs are feeling as strange as I say they are then it is probably a better idea to rest today. Not great given I’ve eaten nothing but carbs so far today but life is short and sometimes….. peanut butter.

Whilst debating in my head whether or not training today was a good idea I spent an inappropriate amount of time on Instagram mooching around and generally having a good laugh at some of the stuff on there. I came across this…..

This made me laugh – then it made me think – deep I know… But seriously, is this a joke? (in my head I’m saying that in the Kevin McCallister voice from Home Alone..) WORKING OUT COULD PREVENT PEOPLE BECOMING OBESE? Jeez. And lest we forget that eating real food that is grown in the ground or raised on a farm is better for us too. BREAKING NEWS.

And it doesn’t end there! I sat in bed this morning with my weird green tea (cherry bakewell flavour – http://www.twinings.co.uk/tea/green-tea/cherry-bakewell-green-tea-20-envelopes – youuuuu aaaaare welcome, the gingerbread is actually the best) and marvelling at my cunning microwave muesli protein concoction (which I shouldn’t have been eating because I’m not training today and I don’t need the carby energy but never mind).

So there I was sitting in bed with Erin’s copy of Women’s Health. I scorn these magazines for the most part because they tend to be full of nonsense like “try this variation of a squat and watch your ass become perky in two weeks” – dude please….. we are not idiots. (It has taken me a year to get serious results in the gym FYI). This issue though was actually really good! Some solid advice about how joining online community type fitness coaching can see marked improvement (generally because you feel part of a support network folks – oh and guess what – I know a guy that knows a guy that knows how to do this better than the rest) and various other interesting little anecdotes. Aaaand then the adverts came rolling in….

Look at this! Chocolate milk! And he’s playing basketball! OMG it must be really amazing stuff if it makes him jump that high! No…. it is just milk. Flavoured with chocolate. Don’t be fooled folks. Just like our friend Captain Jean Luc Picard says (I definitely didn’t think it was Spock… honest…. and I definitely didn’t have to google it) – anyway, his reaction is spot on.

SCIENCE….. b***h (mum you can’t shout at me for swearing – I put up with you signing off whatsapps with b***h for two months after you watched Breaking Bad). Science! Moving our bodies and eating proper food. Oh and avoiding Fabric. And rum. And pizza…… but not all the time. Because then that’s boring.

Sunday afternoon – that means food prep. It’s raining outside. Could someone please go to the shops and buy me 7 tubs of quark, 2kg of chicken, around a tenners worth of veg, some frozen berries, some eggs, some smoked salmon and twenty million pints of milk (because milk is protein guys…. with or without the hot basketball player).

That would be great.

Thanks so much.

Chilled Sunday love, C xxx