An Elephant Never Forgets

Couldn’t disagree more… I FEEL like an elephant this week and I had totally forgotten how difficult it is to have some self restraint… and patience… and maintain a positive mindset.

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My hamstrings hurt and I am going to whine my little face off until I feel I’ve cleansed these bullshit thoughts from my head.

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I’ve been trying to get back into a really solid lifestyle for at LEAST two weeks now and I’m not back to 15% body fat yet. WTF? Why isn’t this happening right now? Why is it taking so long? Why am I still about THIRTY percent. Humph.

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Oh right yeah…. it took 6 months last time to drop the best part of 10kgs. Great. That’s just fucking perfect. Sorry for swearing but that’s where I’m at right now. I have lost the use of vocabulary and I’m just on a one way street of expletives and rage.

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It’s not even rage. It’s just kind of disappointment. It’s pretty depressing how much damage can be done in 6-8 months. The worst part? I’ve BEEN going to the gym and out on my bike and going for the odd run. Sadly when I combine that with “yeah totally – treat yourself to enough food for two people” I don’t stay lean. Combine THAT with a pretty dodgy diet set up of Deliveroo and sandwiches and everything else that I tend to crave and it’s just a direct ticket to fatsville.

Goddammit.

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The worst part is my head actually. Yeah ok feeling pretty squishy isn’t exactly ideal but trying to keep the balance of self love and self loathing is damn hard. One part of my brain is like “shhhhhh it’s ok… take a deep breath… just keep eating better and working hard and you’ll get back to where you were a year ago” and then the other part of my brain is like “jesus wept woman – now look what you’ve done – you gotta act fast. No more food today. Just go back to throwing up any junk food you eat”.

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Not going there though. No point sitting whining and crying and then not doing something positive.

Neil just whatsapped me the best image ever:

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He’s so damn wise.

My tummy is so round today. Sitting on my arse all day at work is NOT helping. Ironic isn’t it? I go to the gym and swim and walk 5 miles a day religiously for two weeks and don’t feel better. I feel WORSE! I remember this from last time though. I remember doubting everything and thinking I had made a huge mistake and I should switch things up etc etc. Actually that’s bullshit. I just need to stay committed and focus on the end goal – CONSISTENT HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. I am determined this will be the last time I feel like this. Lean with abs one year and feeling chunky and rubbish the next. I did an Ironman for crying out loud. Get a fucking grip woman. Again — sorry for swearing.

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It definitely feels better to vent and be positive. No point sitting hating food and my body and all that negative stuff eating me up that’s for sure.

The first month or two is so hard though. You’re used to eating when and what you feel like and you think eating salad for a few days is killing it and then you realise it’s more work than that and that’s pretty damn shite ‘cos you thought you were doing really well but then you have to kick it up a notch.

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(I actually love salad)

Thing is….. I KNOW what I’m doing is the right thing to be doing. My macros are decent. My training is solid. I’m getting enough sleep. I’m drinking enough water (ish). I just need to KEEP doing it. For weeks and weeks and weeks and then months and then FOREVER.

This is where I sometimes find having a PT or a nutritional coach can come in handy. You can put your doubts and fears and questions on someone else. Provided of course they know what they’re doing – you can trust them when they say “stick with it” or “ok let’s switch things up”.

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I get that some people don’t need or want that sort of thing but for me it makes a massive difference. For this reason I literally can’t wait to start working with a PT again.

HOWEVER – it is also up to me to work out what works for me and what doesn’t. Perhaps I should give the scales another go. Ok they don’t account for muscle gain etc but they do at least give a good indicator for motivation and progress in the first few months…. hmmmm.

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Ok these work pants are really not comfy now – I swear I’ve gone up 8 clothes size in the past twenty minutes. Humph. That’s another thing! FUCKING LEGGINGS. Those bastards are the devil. I mean obviously they’re not. They’re awesome and they look cool and they’re comfy as hell but they do NOT do us any favours when it comes to indicating if we are getting a bit chunky. Double humph.

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Went to TK Maxx at lunch time – spent £7.99 on a vest that says Keep On Keeping On… how very appropriate.

Watch my mum’s reaction… “YOU CAN’T AFFORD MORE CLOTHES”

Oh leave me alone with my stretchy pants.

C x

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An Elephant Never Forgets

Sums Are Hard

…didn’t write my final blog on Friday last week did I – FAIL.

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…didn’t stay on track with my lean clean food over the weekend – FAAAIILLLL

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…didn’t stay sober, not even a little bit – BIGGESTFAILOFEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Needless to say, I’m not exactly basking in the glory of willpower and sticking to plan right now. Instead I am still feeling ever so slightly hungover and just to make it worse I think I am about twenty stone heavier than I was on Friday. Excellent. Humph.

Staying positive though ‘cos it’s the only way to be. The weekend didn’t go to plan in terms of food and drink but I DID have a solid run of training and diet through to Friday evening and an absolute blast with my buddies and my man in Wales. Major laughs and totally worth it… although a couple of GLASSES of wine on Saturday would probably have been a better call over a couple of BOTTLES. I can’t drink to save my life. I am rubbish. Paid for it yesterday though – when we got home I forced myself to do some skipping. It’s my new thing. 10 minutes burns over 100 calories. Incredible. Determined to look cool as f**k like those boxers do when they skip in the gym. Once I stop whipping myself in the face or getting the rope stuck in my hair mid jump I’m sure I’ll look awesome…

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I had some interesting thoughts during the long drive(s) to and from Wales. Remember a couple of weeks ago I was saying my head was all messy with Instagram images of people smashing a billion workouts and lean food this and clean food that and juice this and low carb that? Well I was feeling a bit like that again over the weekend (squashed the messy thoughts with Kettle Chips and wine though) and when I started to think clearly I couldn’t help but compare the world of health and fitness with the world of fashion.

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Picture this ok… You see those people walking around wearing every single ounce of “fashion” all in one go? The girls have the false lashes, fake tan, huge earrings, some kind of ribbon bow in their hair, a floaty blouse with some ripped denim pale wash jeans tucked into thigh high faux suede boots and a patent leather handbag with twenty decorative padlocks hanging off it which is clutched in their manicured to look like talons fingernails? The guys are wearing sweatpants with the knee length crotch, huge white shiny trainers, a super low cut t-shirt, a snapback cap and some beats around their neck? Now it is personal opinion and taste of course but I am not such a massive fan of the “put ALL the fashion on me” look. I think if you like your fashion maybe opting for one principal at a time is a better look.

Now if I think about health and fitness it can be similar. People (i.e. ME) read all the articles and follow all the social media accounts and then try and do everything without really thinking about what works for them or what suits them best. I am terrible for this. I forget everything I learned studying nutrition and training like an athlete for Ironman and I let myself be brainwashed by the masses and masses of information I come across each and every day.

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I keep trying to wipe the slate clean and stick to the basic principles that I know work and yet I keep falling at the 2nd or 3rd hurdle. However – as Michael Jordan said – “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying”. TOTALLY. Like really absolutely yep. So I will keep trying until I find the glass slipper of health and fitness that keeps me happy and healthy and strong.

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Speaking of basic principles – I spent a couple of minutes this morning doing some really hard sums (a 7 year old could do these sums…) to work out my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). This then allows me to determine how many calories I need in a day to maintain my current weight. I can then subtract 20% of that total and it gives me a starting point to drop some of the kettle chip softness around my previously abtastic midriff. Here’s the equation if anyone is interested:

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator

That link then gives you the option to calculate your daily calorie needs which you then subtract 20% (or around 500kcals) from to get you shifting some lbs. No further complicated method needed (for now). I’ll be sticking with this for 2-3 weeks and then adjusting it.

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HOWEVER – this method is focused on weigh ins and scales which I am not a fan of so I will be going with pictures and clothing and general “do I feel leaner or fatter”. Scales and past eating disorders don’t go hand in hand.

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Week 1 of my swim training this week. 3 swim sessions and I’ll aim for 2-3 weight/strength training sessions on top of that. Depending on how my energy levels hold up I might keep up with some random skipping at home. It really is good! It counts as HIIT if you do it, funnily enough, for intervals. I reckon 60 seconds skipping flat out and then 30 seconds rest repeated 5-10 times over will be pretty conducive to torching some fat.

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It’s bloody hard work though…

Consistency…. consistency…. consistency….. keep going….

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen”

(Michael Jordan though #motivationalspeakernumerouno)

Sums Are Hard

SPIDES

Remember Popeye and his spinach? How mental is this?!

“He might have well eaten broccoli,sprouts,cabbage or any other vegetable, Why Spinach ? It is widely believed that there was a study with a displaced decimal that said spinach contains ten times more iron that it actually did. The Creator of Popeye succumbed to this belief of High Iron content in Spinach and hence chose it as the ‘instant power source’ for Popeye. This myth is known as ‘SPIDES’ – Spinach,Popeye,Iron,Decimal,Error Story.”

As IF there is an entire story behind some cartoon character eating spinach?! That’s cray. To be honest though I don’t care why Popeye ate spinach. The only thing I care about is the AMOUNT you can eat…. wowee. That stuff is LOW calorie. However, not exactly a party on the palate is it? Well now it is. Check what I made last night…

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I got home from work and my new saviour for “I’ve been at work, I’ve walked home, I’m worn out and I need some bloody food right bloody now” are my blueberry yoghurt lollypops. Like the frozen kind. They are brilliant. You can’t cram twenty of them into your mouth at one time but they are sitting there in the freezer waiting to be enjoyed on the sofa whilst the FEEDMEFEEDME demon in my head chills his beans for a few minutes (Chris will be freaking out that I just said I have a demon – we watched Paranormal activity – all four of them – at the weekend… he did NOT enjoy pahaha).

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I’ll include the recipes for both dishes at the bottom of this article. Sharesies.

Anyone else find Mondays are awesome for eating clean and feeling inspired? It’s that age old “ohhh I’m on a diet” but then by Wednesday you’re like “balls to this – I’m gettin’ a cake…and some crisps….and a glass – no wait – a BOTTLE of wine”. Yeah I get it. It’s always hard when you’re breaking bad habits or just trying to be slightly better to your body. The other flipside is your head is putting out the bunting and celebrating your willpower and then out of NOWHERE this pizza arrives and it’s party over.

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The only thing I find that works is bloody stubbornness. I am stubborn. Sometimes its a bad thing. Sometimes its a good thing. For example – I point blank refuse to give in to temptation and laziness this week. I said I’d do a week of eating good clean food and training hard and I will damn well do it. I should work for Nike. JUST BLOODY DO IT. Commit to that. Get it done. Kapow.

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Oh the other thing that winds me up. Chris and I both agree it takes a week for your body to catch up with what you’ve eaten and the training you skipped. So whilst I’m chowing down on the lean protein and the kilos of spinach this week my butt is like “ha – dream on – you ate 6 easter eggs last week – no way yo jeans are fittin’ today”. DAMN YOU giant ass – and whilst I’m at it – DAMN YOU chubby tummy…..

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To be fair though – we should still love our bodies. Seriously though. Yeah ok sometimes they’re not so firm or fast or lean or whatever. Sometimes they don’t look good in bodycon but at the end of the day they do a pretty bloody awesome job. After Ironman I vowed never to hate on my body again. My body went through hell and back to get me over that finish line. I have massive amounts of respect for these thighs!

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Can’t wear white jeans but can complete an Ironman #pickmybattles

Back to the spinach – I went off on a bit of a tangent there sorry….By the way, never google spinach, the wikipedia article is unbelievably boring. So the mighty little green leaf! Per 100g this bad boy has a mere 23kcals. TWENTY THREE!!! When you consider I had nearly 400g of spinach in that dinner last night and I could barely eat it all that’s insaneio. Less than 100kcals. Well – not quite when I added some grassfed butter, some super low fat cream cheese and a grating of parmesan but STILL – it was huuuuge amounts of food for hardly any kcals and it tasted awesome. If you like creamed spinach you will LOVE this. Oh and if you haven’t tried creamed spinach then get on that band wagon cos it’s the dogs dangles, but mine is better, obvs… I mean the spinach, not the dogs….  MOVING ON.

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Oh and buy your spinach frozen. Sainsburys do like 2kg for about £1. It’s mad cheap and way easier than cooking and chopping those giants bags of leaves when it’s fresh.

Before I go, here’s a little list of other foods I swear by because you can eat loads for hardly any impact on your booty:

  1. Raspberries – amen
  2. Tzatziki dip – the greek cucumber stuff but make it yourself cos it’s dead easy
  3. Salad leaves – sounds dead boring but if you’re going to have salad for dinner use the whole damn bag of leaves if you’re mad hungry
  4. Courgette (Zucchini) – grate it or spiralize it and go to TOWN with it instead of spaghetti or whatever
  5. Butternut squash – any recipe that needs sweet potato can basically use butternut squash. Way lower in carbs if you’re looking to keep it lean(er)
  6. 0% Total Greek Yoghurt – those little tubs have less than 100kcals. I had that with TWO packets of raspberries for breakfast. Loadsa food #boom
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True story – pass the courgetti

So here’s how I made the lollies and the spinach and I’m off to do an online foodshop for our weekend away – wine, chocolate, crisps, croissants…. Jokes

C xx

Lovely Faux Creamed Spinach (Serves 2 or one CatMac)

  • 350g cooked spinach that has been squeezed in a clean tea towel to get rid of the water. This weight is AFTER the water has been removed, it was about 700g when it was straight out the freezer, it needs a zap in the microwave to get the water content oot of there
  • 2/3 tub of Extra Light Philadelphia
  • 1 Tablespoon butter (Did you know Kerry Gold is grassfed? Me either. Fact of the day)
  • Half a teaspoon grated nutmeg
  • Tablespoon grated parmesan
  • 1 crushed garlic clove
  • Big splash of milk to get the consistency you prefer e.g. more for sloppier
  • Salt and pepper

Mix the whole lot together over medium heat and then chuck it on your plate.

Berry & Yoghurt Ice lollys (Makes 16 lollys)

  • 800g Frozen berrys (I did blueberries)
  • 600g 0% Total Greek Yoghurt
  • Teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 Teaspoons powdered stevia (You can buy vanilla flavour stevia drops from Amazon, I use them, you need 5 drops instead of the extract and powdered stevia)

Blend the whole lot together in a food processor and then freeze in whichever lolly containers you have. Roughly 70 kcals per lolly in the size I made below…

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SPIDES

Staying Strong(er)(ish)

You know when you’re asleep and you suddenly wake up or jump because you feel like you’re falling? That’s essentially what just happened to me. Except I’m at work… and I remembered I was supposed to be writing every day this week. I always said I would only write stuff when I felt the “urge” to do so i.e. I actually had something to write about. Well let’s see what floats to the surface this afternoon.

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The main headlines tonight: I fought the greed last night and won – aaaand I will be training with the England rugby team soon.

Ok maybe not quite training with the England squad – BUT – I am going to do some training sessions with Tom Wright (insta:tomwright_fit) who trains at Reach Fitness in Clapham and James Haskell sometimes trains there so that’s basically the same. Bit like the time I met James Gandolfini… LIES… he was sitting at a table in the restaurant I was in.

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Those headlines are boring as shit aren’t they? Well what do you want me to say? At least I didn’t succumb to the leftover tagliatelle or the sharing bag of popcorn #progress. Man alive it’s hard trying to tame my appetite for …. ALL FOOD, but Neil is watching (that’s creepy – he isn’t really) and I promised myself I would kick the “eat anything and everything” habit for a week to try and snap myself back into ‘lean mode’. It is actually going pretty well. I use myfitnesspal app – anyone else use that? I think it is a bit marmite for some people. You love it or hate it. I love it. If I am trying to hit some calorie and macro goals it is very very helpful.

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My fridge is broken 24/7 365

Take last night for example; dinner was poached eggs and smoked salmon on seedy type english muffins (http://www.musclefood.com/high-protein-snacks-1/grains/7-sprouted-grains-english-muffins.html – these are AMAZING). After dinner though I was still hungry – or maybe I was bored – either way I wasn’t satisfied and Sons of Anarchy wasn’t distracting enough. A week or two ago I would have been all “meh whatever I’ll have [insert any food]” but last night I was all “no Cat – be smart here, you studied nutrition for gods sake, pick something good for your body”…

…fresh mango, total yoghurt, peanut butter. Three of my favourite things and fortunately all within reach last night. So I went over my calories – big deeeeeeal – at least it was with good food and not a bag of processed crunchy air (popcorn).

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Oh my god as if I didn’t mention this earlier. I met up with Alice this morning, my new bff at my new gym. I found Alice on Instagram after looking up my new gym on there to see if there were any cool people to train with. Alice is super cool. She can do weird balance things on park benches (aliceinlondnland) and she loves a bit of lifting. So we were larking around this morning with 1 rep max (heaviest you can lift only once) on leg press and deadlift and it turns out I CAN deadlift more than my own bodyweight – eyyyohhhhh! This was awesome news! 80kg IN—YOUR—FACE deadlifts… So that’s now the benchmark.

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It also made me realise I get too hung up on maximising my time in the gym, yes it’s good to get in, smash a session and get home but if you ENJOY something then it doesn’t necessarily have to be straight faces and seriousnessessessss 24/7. We had a grand old time just picking heavy stuff up and putting it down. It didn’t matter that it was twenty sets of 192587 reps or whatever. I should chill with my OCD more often.

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Should everything I write have a lesson learnt or a moral or whatever? Are ramblings interesting? I dunno.

C xx

 

 

Staying Strong(er)(ish)

Listen to Dory

I just typed listen to Dora — good start — can’t even get her name right. DORY though, the blue fish from Finding Nemo, you know her song? ‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming’. That is literally the only phrase I can come up with when I think about long distance swimming. It’s crap. And she does my head in. I mean the saying is crap – not the actual swimming.

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Speaking of which – went swimming this morning with Chris. Alarm went off at 5:50am. VOMTASTIC. Didn’t get up till 6:15am, Chris goes “how long did we lie in for?” (I am in charge of the alarm clock)… my answer? “Aw only ten minutes *cough*”. I hate getting up early. Once you get into the habit of it it’s pretty good, but the first few weeks of alarms like that are really really grim. So swimming again, time to stop mucking about with my half arsed swim sessions – smashed out 1500m. That’s my longest swim since Ironman. Ironman was 3900m. Ooft. When I say smashed out I really mean “attempted to look pro and like I wasn’t really trying but it was really really really tiring”.

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So — this morning inspired me to think about my “challenge”. I have mentioned my swim in August, it’s 10km. That’s 10,000m. That’s…. a lot. Um. Yeah. So I figured I have roughly 20 weeks until the swim in Wales in August. If I start training properly next week I can start at 2000m and then add 500m to that distance every week. That get’s me to week 17 and gives me 3 weeks to taper (this also falls nicely into my Aussie holiday #win). The basic plan is swim three times a week. Two of those sessions will be 2000m drill sessions. Sounds fancy, it isn’t. It basically means I will mix in some ‘arm only’, ‘leg only’, ‘sprint’ lengths into a 2000m set. Then once a week I will swim up to my added 500m goal e.g. 2500m, 5000m, 7500m and so on.

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Is this really boring? Probably but I said I would write every day this week to show I am staying accountable.

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Another thing I discussed this morning was visualisation – check this out, email from my buddy:

“I had a right diva moment at spin last night.

End of the class, told it was the last 90 seconds and everyone should be flat out, giving it everything they have. I was absolutely gunning it, thought I was going to pass out. I was visualising the last few laps of the Olympic final in the velodrome. THEN, she says, let’s do another 90 ‘flat out’. No one should be able to do another 90 after doing the first one flat out.

I felt robbed of timing my finish to the class. So just got my stuff and left the class. She made a comment but I ignored her.”

So ignoring the diva moment and focusing on the visualisation…. SO TRUE. I get asked a lot how I forced myself to do the training sessions for Ironman last year and I don’t know if I ever mentioned my imaginary moments?! They were brilliant… Sometimes on the treadmill or out for a run I would put really really loud trance music on and think about crossing the finish line. But not just THINK about it – I’d see it, sometimes I even closed my eyes (DO NOT DO THIS RUNNING ON ROADS OBVS). It used to give me shivers. It was so so important. If I was out on the bike and climbing a hill I’d frown and go to my determined place in my head which was generally picturing the hills on the course and imagining my family and friends cheering me on. Doesn’t matter what it is – find what does it for you and focus on it. It’s awesome and it works if you really get into it.

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Oh oh! I forgot to tell you – I ate a whole cauliflower last night! Fortunately it wasn’t too giant, pretty small once I got rid of the leaves and the stalk but I made that cauliflower egg fried rice stuff and it was goooooooooooood. I’m going to do it again but with prawns and spring onions and coriander. I only had some cooked chicken and peas last night – was still pretty tasty though. About 90 calories in the entire cauliflower. Mental.

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Too hungry to think of more words of wisdo-nonsense now so going to inhale my salad and probably my 3pm snack too…. it is only 12:15.

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Numnumnunmnunmmmmmm

C xx

Listen to Dory

Happily Ever After

Damn all these fit, burpee loving, consistent healthy folk. Damn them all to a chocolately carby grave… See how THEY like it.

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Easter – the “holiday” (what are we ‘merican’s now?) where we celebrate the birth, no wait, the resurrection of Christ and all go to church. OR we consume massive amounts of chocolate and have some extra days off work. Whichever you choose it generally amounts to the same thing for me. Fluffy waistlines (aka FAT) and rapidly regretting the “but everyone else is eating loads” mindset.

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Bah, never mind. So I’ve had like, 8 days off work? Amazingly I actually did some form of physical pursuit most days. I went out on my bike, I ran, I went to the gym a couple of times. Doesnee matter though does it? No. No it doesnee. Not when you eat enough pasta to kill Mama Italia and then wash it down with an entire tub of frozen yoghurt. Up yours Waitrose. So what if your froyo is 85kcals per serving. Come round to my house and I’ll show you what a serving is. YOU try having 1/5th of a tub when you’re 80 minutes into Paranormal Activity 3 and you’ve got to go to work in the morning. Rage.

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Never mind. The pasta was lush. So was the garlic bread. And the easter egg. And the froyo. And the Itsu milk chocolate rice cakes. WHAT?! I never said this was going to be a “look at me I only eat cauliflower rice” style blog entry.

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Mind you – I am actually going to try cauliflower rice tonight. First time for everything the reckon. I am feeling virtuous after my lunch time gym session. LIES. The cauliflower has been sitting in our fridge for about two weeks and I feel sorry for it so I’m going to chop it up into tiny pieces and fry it and eat it. That will cheer it up. Stole the recipe from Pinterest/The Londoner blog. She’s got goooood recipes. Nice pictures too. I sent her blog to my friend and told him to marry her. Nice wholesome girl. We need more of them. Love her thesis on dieting too. Eat some veg 80% of the time and you’ll never need to diet again. Or something like that. Either way she’s cool. I’d like to be mates with her. You hear that londoner? We’re gonna be bff’s. http://www.thelondoner.me/

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So Happily Ever After… I am STILL chasing that dream of having a fun social lifestyle whilst achieving some kind of abtastic body composition for ze summerrrrr. I’ve been seeing a lot of “summer is just around the corner” type advertisements recently and I dunno if it is supposed to stress us out or what it’s purpose is but they need to chill their beans. I still maintain it’s a pretty toxic mindset to chase the “summer body”. I think it is better to have a healthy strong body all the time (with some Easter type fluctuations now and again because it’s gonna happen and there is no point crying about it).

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With this in mind, I woke up this morning and was all “right… gym AND swimming today and no carbs and only water and no straying from the path of health and fitspiration”. Sigh. Will I never learn. That’s a total dipshit way of thinking. Instead I am going to channel my inner Neil – that sounds really weird – remember Neil? My buddy from up north. The best PT in the world. Fact. He isn’t a PT. He is a guru. His voice is stuck in my head and it is saying (in a geordie accent) “stop mucking about Cat – have a week and stay accountable and strong – no gimmicks – just train hard and eat proper food – but don’t drink booze and don’t slip with the nutrition”. This always, well almost always, works for me. We have our day, ok week, ok two weeks, fine fine SIX MONTHS of freestyle diet and laziness but then we realise being lazy and fat isn’t very fun so we decide to go crazy on the gym and the food restriction and it lasts like a few weeks and we get sloppy again.

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Neil practices a variation where I basically have to stop whining about being fat or whatever and actually stick it out for a week. It’s almost like a reset. It makes me realise I DO have some form of willpower and I CAN say no to stuff. Or yes to cauliflower in today’s case. One thing I know is getting to the end of the week of looking back and thinking “f**k yes – I totally didn’t eat any crisps this week” feels damn good. Seriously. Try it.

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So on that note this is Monday, well done Cat, you nailed that one. No excuses. As my instagram profile picture says – “winners train, losers complain”. No flies on me. Or rather no CRISPS on me.

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Daily blog posts this week. Staying accountable. To the internet. Whatever.

C xx

 

(My mum is going to go mental at all the swear words in this post)

 

Happily Ever After

It’s A Jungle Out There

Who the hell is Randy Newman? Apparently he sang this song. Whatever Randy, the only song I’ve got in my head is The Message by Grandmaster Flash. Anyhoo, that’s not what’s important here. I wanted to take a few minutes out from wiping my new MAC foundation out of my eyes (seriously they won’t stop streaming?) and write about a few things I’ve struggled with recently. Boo hoo. Nah not really at all but they have been getting under my skin.

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Let’start with the main one: plain bloody confusion. Does anyone else scroll through Instagram or Facebook or magazines and look at the people working out, posting pictures of twenty healthy meals a day, rock hard abs and sweaty selfies? Do you look at them and think “but I’m sitting at work trying not to eat all the food I brought with me in one go… I’m not in the gym going mental on the treadmill or the bench press? Am I failing at life? Is this why I haven’t lost twenty pounds? Will I ever be worthy?”

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I was literally finding myself in a little vortex, spinning around and around, surrounded by smoothies and protein bars and weights and workouts and transformation Tuesdays and aaaaaaaaaaaargh. So I’ve decided to take a little step back from it all. Get some reality into my line of sight. After all, we are NOT the same. I work Monday to Friday (pretty comfy hours compared to some people!) and sometimes I want to eat a baguette or drink a goddamn latte. Ok? YES! It is totally ok thanks. So why am I telling myself it’s not ok? That I should be eating “clean” 24/7 and training twice a day every day? My god. I’m getting stressy just thinking about it all.

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By the way – I have totally done transformation Tuesday posts….

I’m rambling. I made some notes before I started writing this post. Here are my bullet points which I will then try and explain:

  • Listen to your body
  • Get a routine
  • Don’t feel sorry for yourself
  • Be patient
  • Social Media isn’t real
  • My body hates alcohol

Ok – I feel better now. Bullet point number one. Sometimes we are genuinely really tired. If this you, don’t try and smash a massive workout. I’ve felt exhausted for the past few weeks but couldn’t figure out why. After a week or so of listening to my body I think it was fighting a cold/flu/virus type thing and it needed some time to kick it’s butt. So instead I went swimming every day, did full body resistance workouts, restricted my calories and told myself to man up. How very clever of you Cat! Well done! YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER TWAT. Once I STOPPED trying to ruin my immune system and faced a few days of rest I came back kicking and I’ve been in the gym every day this week and feel great for it. Sometimes you need a rest. Take a bloody rest.

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Before I forget my new mantra is as follows…

eat-and-train

How good is that? Brilliant.

Ok next bullet point about a routine. I am sloooowly finding my new routine. It goes like this: 6am get up and sort shit in the flat like laundry and dishwasher, go to the gym at 6:30 and do either weights or HIIT or some cardio, come home and shower and prep my breakfast, walk the 2.5 miles to work, work, walk the 2.5 miles home and either do something fun or just chill and have dinner and earlyish night. This works for me. It means I get enough rest, I eat good food, I get my training in and I don’t overdo things. Find what works for you. Not the people on Instagram. What works for you?

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Bullet point 3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. This ties into bullet point 1. Being physically exhausted is very different to hitting the snooze alarm. Sometimes you have to have a short sharp word with yourself and say “listen up – you’re being a lazy shit – get out of bed and go for a walk, a run, a swim, lift something… just do ANYTHING – NOW – GO ON – MOVE!!!”. I have a bad habit of feeling sorry for myself. It’s ridiculous. Go look at people with disabilities smashing their goals then wise up.

This is my most important bullet point. Patience. It takes 13 hours to build a Toyota and 6 months to build a Rolls Royce. Apply this to your health and your body and your training. It takes time. Loads of time. I have wasted months recently with inconsistent training. Smashing 8 workouts in one week and then doing F**K all for two weeks. Dumb and gets me no where. When I was super lean that was a result of EIGHT MONTHS training and clever eating (and some periods of mild eating disorders FYI). I am no longer super lean and it is my own damn fault. Stay consistent. Just keep doing something. Don’t sack it off because you can’t see anything happening. LISTEN TO YOUR OWN WORDS CAT.

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We have already discussed social media. Yes fine use it for some motivation. It’s good for that. DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO IT THOUGH. Do your routine. Eat the food that’s healthy for you, that YOU enjoy and keep doing it. Do stuff you look FORWARD to doing. Don’t like the gym? Go swimming. This is working wonders for a friend of mine. She loves swimming and she is doing it consistently. Oh and by the way… remember… the people you follow on Instagram generally only post the stuff they want you to see. Think about that for a second. Do you think I posted the dominos I had on Sunday? Nope. I sure as hell posted the healthy food I prepped on Monday night though….

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Lastly…. and this is a bitter prosecco flavoured pill for me to swallow. After months of telling myself it’s one thing or another the reality has hit home. My body HATES alcohol. Not just “bad hangover” hates it. But makes me feel miserable for days, messes up my digestion for days, makes me lazy and moody style hates it. So – I am going to try and steer clear of it for a while. I know. People have real issues with this and say it’s boring and bla bla bla but at the end of the day you do what makes you happy.

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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So – there’s a little rant! Maybe it makes sense for some of you. Maybe it doesn’t. I hope it does. It can be hard work, you get down and sad because you ate some ice cream (or a whole tub if you are me at home on Sunday… yes after my dominos – oops) but life goes on and in reality that shit doesn’t matter. Just don’t do it every day. *thumbs up*.

I’m going to try and get my health and fitness into a consistent state rather than “yeah let’s do an ironman!” or “yeah let’s weigh out every single oat that goes into our proats!”. That shit, for me, isn’t long term achievable….. let’s find out what is….

MASSIVE REAL LIFE NOT INSTAGRAM LIFE HUGS. C xxx

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It’s A Jungle Out There