How To Say NO To Cake

It happened. I made protein cake on Sunday. It was amazing.

LIES

It was awful awful awful. Blergh. Even the memory of it is making me pull a yucky face. Who on earth thought coconut flour was a good idea? WHO?! It is the work of the devil. You would be better off going down to the beach and stuffing some wet sand in your mouth. YAACK.

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Turns out I really really don’t like coconut flour. So how do you say NO to take? Make it with coconut flour and chuck it in the bin. The funny thing is though – I think I already knew this but had forgotten or convinced myself it wasn’t that bad. A bit like I do every time I decide to start drinking apple cider vinegar in the mornings again. “Oh it’s not that bad, bit like really acidic apple juice” – “MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THIS?! THE SMELL AND TASTE IS TAKING OVER MY ENTIRE HEAD!”

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However, whilst apple cider vinegar apparently boasts a plethora (great word) of magical health benefits I can see NO benefits of eating wet sand disguised as flour.

Basically, I love this recipe for blueberry lemon protein cake and on Sunday I knew I had the ingredients to make it. However, instead of following the recipe like a clever girl, I decided to go off piste and just make it up (this does normally work for me). So, cake batter was looking good, macros were stellar and the house smelled like vanilla. Nice. Cake didn’t sink like the Titanic when it came out the oven either which is always a good sign. Chris was so excited at the site of cake (he loves blueberry muffins) that he had already Instagrammed the final product before tasting. BIG. MISTAKE.

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It was honestly like chewing on a sandy sponge. I KNOW coconut flour absorbs a lot of moisture but that wasn’t the issue here! It was just awful! In all ways possible! Moral of the story? Stick to the recipe for protein baking. I recently bought this book http://amzn.to/1oyZb1q and I have spoken before of the genius of ‘Chocolate Chilli Mango’ (the original creator of the blueberry protein cake dream. http://chocolatechillimango.com/

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Sigh – I am at work staring at my protein bar and inwardly cursing it. It is laughing at me. It is. Honestly. “HA! What happened to your baking skills? Loser”. Urgh whatever. I will follow the recipe later when we try again!

Sorry to disappoint.

Oh by the way, my parents were visiting at the weekend. Mum is most put out she didn’t get enough kudos for the idea of batch cooking and boxing up food for the week. So here is your praise mum:

YOU—-ARE—-SO—-CLEVER—-THANK—-YOU—-FOR—-TEACHING—-ME—-EVERYTHING—-I—-KNOW

Happy now?!

Anyway – back to business. Nearly two months into the year and I am STILL flailing around in the world of health and fitness like some wounded animal. Things are sure taking their time to get back into routine. Morning alarm clocks are being snoozed, macro tracking is being ignored… deary me. On the plus side I am enjoying life. Even if my abs are still on holiday somewhere. Lazy bastards. Get back to work and stop eating all the pies. It’s pretty weird I am currently picturing my “abs” as little sweat band sporting minions. Get out more Cat. Seriously.

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Taking each day at a time for training though I skipped the 5:45am alarm for swimming with Chris and have decided instead to go at lunch time. At least I am going!

OMG I nearly forgot! Ran TWICE at the weekend. On Sunday it was my longest run since Ironman. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES. Hahaha. Almost a marathon. Still – it was good! I am quite enjoying the running at the minute. This is unheard of for me! I normally hate it! Turns out Britney Spears and Michael Jackson are quite the running companions. Far better than doof doof trance…. for now.

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Think I will try and throw in some yoga again this week. I can barely flex my ankle at the minute. The Achilles is tighter than…. a tightrope? Ouchee. Running through the discomfort is probably not doctor recommended.

Going to Google some protein brownie recipes now. Surely I can’t f**k them up…. SURELY.

Much love to you all… but not you Mr coconut flour

C xxx

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How To Say NO To Cake

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