Uuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

That sums up the past week. I may as well sign off and let you guys get on with your fabulous Sunday BBQ’s or walks in the sunshine or daisy chain making or water fights or whatever else you happy people are doing on this glorious summers day.

Can you tell I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself? I have essentially spent the past 26 minutes whatsapping various people and whining about how bored I am. Get a bloody grip Cat. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous.

Shall I update you on why I have been so quiet of late? Well, rewind to Monday last week. I wake up with a pretty horrible ache in my jaw. I get to work, call the dentist and I am seen within 30 minutes (don’t be too impressed – the guy probably paid off his 5* holiday with the amount he charged for that appointment). Seen by dentist aaaaand I have to have a wisdom tooth cut out – but it gets better! I have to have work done RIGHT NOW to relieve some of the pressure on my nervous canal (the bank of nerves that control the feeling in your lower lip, jaw and chin). Cue nitrous oxide and Bach blasted around the surgery. I trip back to the office off my face on laughing gas and promptly declare I am going home. I still manage to eat real food and train though so not all is lost. Thursday rolls around and it is hospital time to have the offending tooth and bone removed. Full day in hospital. Knocked out with general anaesthetic (which I hate more than the average person, I fight anything that tries to control my body – hence why you will hardly ever see me completely shitfaced – sorry Mum, I mean tipsy). Surgery done, mouthful of stitches and sent home with a goody bag of codeine, diclofenac and antibiotics. LOVELY.

So now it is Sunday, bloody hell it’s nearly 7pm and I have spent the last three days on the sofa. Fortunately my lovely friends have amused me with youtube videos, magazines and trips to get frozen yoghurt but now I am alone. AAAAAALL ALONE. I am so bored I may just empty the contents of the fridge and freezer into my mouth and wave goodbye to this cruel world of no training and heightened body fat percentages.

Ok ok maybe I am taking it a little far. It actually feels like I have done nothing but whine of late. The best part is I have tried to force myself to write this blog for the past couple of days. It was only after whining to Mr Braniff that I “couldn’t be bothered” that I realised this was getting out of control and I had to get my act together.

Do you know what is meant to be happening next week? London Triathlon. Olympic distance. This is my practice run for the Ironman IN SIX WEEKS. SIX BLOODY WEEKS. Good god I might just go fall back into my narcoleptic codeine induced haze of napping and pretend it isn’t happening.

Only joking. Everything is going to be fine. This has essentially been my motto for the past 10 months. “You’re doing an Ironman? Oh my god that’s crazy” —- “IT WILL BE FIIIIIIIIIINE”

I actually think this has started to work. It’s like those weird mantra things people write on their mirrors. “You are fabulous”. “Love yourself”. etc etc. You know what? Maybe there is something to it. I am genuinely feeling better already. In fact – I may swap my order of pizza tonight for some marginally healthier sushi. (I cannot bring myself to drink more liquidized broccoli. I just can’t. Please don’t make me)

You know how people say when you fall off the wagon or you hit a brick wall you just have to keep going? Oooh ooh I forgot to mention! Double whammy of crapness last week! Can’t go into details of why exactly but let’s just say I am not quirky. Yeah. Try and decipher that little riddle. What a bloody joke. Anyway, the point is, I have tried my best to be strong minded and positive since last Tuesday when I was sure Chariots of Fire was actually being drilled into my teeth (Nitrous Oxide is fun). (It was playing on the sound system – my dentist is a real joker).

I’ll give you some more perspective here as to how bad I have let things get. You know I say things about drinking lots of water and making an effort to do something etc etc? Well I haven’t drank any water, I haven’t trained (technically I am not allowed to but I could have gone for a walk every day instead of only venturing out when it had the promise of lovely Lizi chatting to me and buying me froyo), I haven’t eaten good clean/wholesome food and I haven’t used my time wisely. It has been rubbish. It has made me doubt myself and my capabilities as an “athlete”. It has seen my abs disappear – probably forever if I don’t stop eating macaroni cheese. It has given me terrible skin – rubbish considering I have a thing about my skin already. But the worst part? IT MEANT I DIDN’T WRITE MY BLOG.

I jest. Sort of. I am trying to work out what my point here is and I am not really sure. I guess I just wanted to update you all about what is happening… If you even care? Everyone likes a bit of drama though don’t they. This is real life though. This is MY life. I have super brilliant highs of training and health and I have days where I have maltesers for breakfast and question what I am about. What I WILL say though is the malteser breakfast days are few and far between and provided my mouth heals properly I plan on being my super positive athletic version of myself for the vast majority of time going forwards.

So – the plan now? I am going to wake up tomorrow and carpe diem the life out of it. I am going to have a solid lean breakfast (mushy food still works better with the stitches so probably scrambled eggs and smoked salmon – I know right? Tough life). I am going to drink 3L of water. I am going to go for a walk. I am going to research transition tips for my triathlon. I am going to stretch and roll some of the tension in my legs. I am going to do my job and smash this PA role to smithereens so much that my boss thinks I am a genetically modified species of assistant. Ok I am getting carried away but sometime it helps.

I slept until 11:30am today. I had to be woken up then too! How mad is that? Amazing what codeine will do to a girl. Enough though I say! ENOUGH! Pass me the lemon slices and the cucumber! We need to get this athlete back to full strength!

Damn you sunshine and your promise of beer gardens and frisbee in the park. I am trying not to sweat into my hoody here on my sofa. Just leave me in peace. I will make use of you tomorrow I promise (when I am not super organising the world of Groupon and running to the bathroom for the twentieth time after drinking so much water).

So, for now, I must go and decide whether I can afford sushi or liquidized broccoli for dinner. Remember folks: sushi isn’t actually that healthy. Beneath those promises of healthy fats in the lovely salmon is a carb bomb of rice and tempura waiting to ruin your workout. Take it from me. The sashimi is dull but it is your friend.

Much love as always. Let’s keep this train rolling.

C xxx

Something a little bit different today… I have allowed my friend and colleague Mr Ben Allen to take the reins for a post. This should be interesting…

Now this is a lengthy read but it is worthwhile. I want to prepare you though. Ben is NOT a gym rat. He is NOT a clean eater. He is NOT a detox fan in any way shape or form. I have seen him eat fruit pastilles for lunch (only a one off after I gave him the death stare for the duration of this “meal”). The important things to take away from this, in my opinion, is the following:

1. You don’t have to sacrifice a “normal” day to day existence to be, what the industry deems: “HEALTHY”.
2. It is OK to follow the natural ebb and flow of willingness to train and eat all your meals with a side of steamed broccoli. This does not mean you have “fallen off the wagon” or need to sit in the corner with a dunce hat being branded as a failure.

I was going to continue that list but actually I think that sums up my view on this nicely. I have many a conversation with people about the importance of a positive mindset and being happy. Sounds trivial and easy to achieve but actually it isn’t always the case so Ben’s blog post (or as the ever so wise Kate called it: “Glog = guest blog”…just wow) spoke volumes to me. Give it a read and let me know your thoughts. It may take a while to get your head round the real meaning here but I think it is poignant aka. worth considering.

(I WILL JUST ADD A DISCLOSURE THAT THE FOLLOWING DOES NOT IN ANY WAY REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OR THOUGHTS OF FUELLINGTHEFOODIE. I WILL ALSO ADD THAT A LEAN MEAN DEFINED BODY WILL NOT BE ACHIEVED BY FOLLOWING THIS LIFESTYLE. REMEMBER FOLKS: THOSE RIPPED ABS REQUIRE NEAR 24/7 MAINTENANCE AND ATHLETIC FITNESS REQUIRES HARD WORK AND DEDICATION)

Over to you Ben:

Cat asked me for ways to publicise her blog. I jokingly turned to her and said “I’ll write a guest blog trashing the fitness industry”, to my surprise she lifted a thoughtful gaze skyward for a moment, looked back down and replied “I’m not against it…”

I’m not going to trash the fitness industry nor am I going to trash healthy living, quite the opposite. However, the idea of fitness as a lifestyle requires closer inspection. Firstly I’m slightly uncomfortable with “fitness” as a noun but I can’t really work out why. Anyway, I’m going to change it because the bit I have a problem with is probably more accurately termed “fitism”. The criteria for gaining the suffix “ism” (like feminism) being that the term posits a world view; one should not merely be fit, but fitness in and of itself is a life goal which should inform your decision making on almost every level. You know the evangelists for this lifestyle. Lean, cut, Adonis-esque creatures bristling from head to toe with skin-deep pride, oozing aesthetic self-satisfaction for yards around them and probably handing out flyers for whichever establishment is branded across their fluorescent polyester polo-shirts.

I think it’s probably time to state the obvious: being fit and healthy is a good thing. However, our definition of “fit and healthy” doesn’t really butter my parsnip, for a kick-off the existence of the word “fit” in the phrase is tautologous, you can’t be “healthy” without being relatively “fit” so let’s just focus on being healthy?

It seems to me that the culture of fitism has simmered brain mechanisms down into an unhealthy reduction. As is often pointed out your body is designed by evolution for the Palaeolithic era (period between 2.6 million years ago and 10,000 years ago), and the question of how you survive has been completely flipped on its head recently. As a hunter-gatherer the question your body had to ask itself was “do you have enough energy resources?” which resulted in hoarding fat, salt and sugar because these substances were rare in our environment and provide lots of what we need. As a result of this our bodies are built with no upper-limit for how much of these substances to eat because, for millions of years, more = better. Although the Palaeolithic era ended 10,000 years ago this actually continued right up until a few hundred years ago, the reason the British Empire and the Merchant Navy were so successful is because we were able to stay on this rainy rock in the North Atlantic while the tentacles of colonialism brought us the fructose of far flung lands.

Nowadays, while our body is ready to store sources of energy for leaner times, we face no leaner times, we don’t really have to expend any energy in obtaining sustenance and our food products are laden with fats, salts and sugars. So on top of the question our body is asking we have to layer a conscious question: “have I expended enough energy to get rid of my daily intake?” This much you know, I’m sure. But how this has manifest itself in today’s fitism is unnerving. Your bodily need for fats, salts and sugars are provided for via “cravings”, the “I want” mechanism in your brain. Many of a fitist bent will teach you how to suppress your cravings, the issue I have is when suppressing cravings reaches beyond fats, salts and sugars to anything which gets in the way of “fitness” (by this point the “health” in “health and fitness” has usually been dropped). The evilness of cravings is extended to cravings for watching TV, reading a book, going to the pub, pretty much anything which takes up time that could be spent exercising.

I am sure we all have friends who have said something along the lines of “no, I’m off drink for the next month”, “I’m not working late tonight, it’s legs day” or “I’ve booked myself into yoga early on Saturday to stop myself going out on Friday night. Double win!” you may have even uttered as such yourself. Phrases like these have a really jarring effect on me. “Keeping fit” has reached such dizzying heights in the minds of these folk that other important areas of their life are being sacrificed.

 At this point I’m acutely aware that – if Cat publishes this – it’ll be hosted on a blog by someone who exercises every day, pays incredible attention to what she eats and restricts herself from excesses which might hinder her fitness. But herein lies an important caveat to my overall argument. Cat is training for an Ironman, something I find admirable, courageous and bemusing in equal measure. That is qualitatively different to wanton “fitness” as a lifestyle. Cat has a tangible goal that she will reach once this process is complete, she will have achieved something meaningful and genuinely impressive. The types of which I speak are not the Cats’ of this world, the types I speak of are the ones for whom being fit is a goal in and of itself, there is no end, no achievement, no demonstrable finale to what they want to accomplish. Except we all know that really the goal is looking good. (Don’t give me any bollocks about it being for a longer life. As a species we’ve made a lot of progress in being able to live longer but almost no progress in increasing the length of the quality of life. Maybe you will live longer but you’ll just be relying on someone else to wipe your arse for longer.)

And this is the crux of the issue. Society bequeaths us many, many concepts and schema for how to live our lives (almost entirely driven by those who seek to earn from our obedience to their ideas.) You will be happy if you are successful in work, you find someone to marry (you’ll need to look good to do that because apparently your personality doesn’t matter), you have kids, you have plenty of money and… you are fit and healthy. In general I wouldn’t take issue with most of these but it must be recognised that the reason you would try to accomplish any of them is for your general well-being. The moment these become a problem is the moment at which you seek any of these goals as an end in their own right, rather than as a means to a fulfilling, meaningful and happy existence.

So you’ve got your abs and you can run for miles and you can lift really heavy stuff repeatedly. What now? Has your social circle expanded by infinite proportions? Are you showered with unleavened kindness on a daily basis? Were you offered 3 promotions a month while your salary underwent an exponential increase? Do you now find money in every gutter and win competitions you didn’t enter? No. You’ve nailed one aspect of your life, and well done, but what have you sacrificed to achieve that? And is being as fit as you are vital to your long-term happiness? Will you, at 60, still be exercising this much as you are now and will you look back and think “damn, I’m glad I put all that effort in”? Before you answer these questions recall that depression, especially among the reflective middle-aged, is at record levels in Western countries and still climbing.

 We also probably all have friends who work too hard, you look at them and think “you don’t see your friends because you work late every night, you spend your weekends doing your chores because you didn’t have time to do them during the week, you eat shit because you come home so late and you never really take any holiday… what for?” The same is true of devoting yourself too entirely to any facet of life, you lose sight of why you’re doing it. People who work too much, earn loads of money but spend so much time working they never get a chance to enjoy any of it. People who settle down with the first person who comes along because it feels secure only to find years later that they never really loved each other and get divorced. The couple who have children in order to fix their marriage. And the people who forego a full and happy social life for squat(s).

Believe it or not the “I want” mechanism in your brain is incredibly important. It needs tempering in modern society because of the sheer level of fats, salts and sugars available, but that’s about it, the rest of time it provides a useful insight into what your subconscious brain recognises to be important stimuli. To help battle cravings the fitists will tell you that you need a regime which you should dedicate yourself to, you can’t simply exercise when you want you must make a plan, in a diary, and stick to it. If you don’t you’ll never beat down the evil, evil cravings. But this has a profoundly negative effect, because if you miss one appointment with physical exertion you’ve then “fallen off the bandwagon” and you think “well while I’m here I might as well have 14 happy meals.” Realistically most people find it incredibly hard to stick to a regime but because of the way gym subscriptions work most of the advice you get in any gym won’t provide you an alternative. Also, the idea that you naturally have cravings which aren’t good for you and you must devote yourself to the fitness industry to cure yourself is uncomfortably close to the Christian idea of Original Sin.

 I’m sure at this point many people will be thinking “I may not be training for a marathon or an ironman but I just like exercise.” As a psychology graduate I end up in arguments on these grounds a lot. Because what I know is that the brain is kind of useless at knowing itself, that if someone says they like/enjoy something all that tells you is that a positive emotion is linked to whatever it is they like/enjoy in some way, but not that they necessarily like/enjoy that thing directly. Most of the time (but not always) it’s likely to be an indirect mechanism which feeds their personality traits or social standing (they hope) in some way. But when someone tells you they enjoy something try telling them that actually they don’t – it’s fun. To work out what you enjoy you have to think real deep, I had this experience with my job recently, I have power (let’s not pretend it isn’t important), responsibility, I’m a decision maker, a manager, my opinion is valued… “yeah, I like my job”; but do I actually enjoy the process of sitting at my desk each day and effecting the changes the business requires… my last day is next week.

I smoke (Marlboro Reds, c.12-a-day), I eat a lot (lashings of double cream, plenty of fried stuff and half a block of parmesan on m’pasta, but all made fresh, almost no processed foods or added sugar), I exercise (Walk 5 miles a day Mon-Fri to work and back and I run when I want, sometimes once a week sometimes three times, I run 6k in 27mins and 10k in 52mins – respectable times, if not amazing, even for a non-smoker), I drink (with friends, probably 4-5 nights a week). I am healthy. I’ve only been ill, even mildly, twice in my life. Body shape, I’d say I’m relatively slim, bit of chub, and losing weight fairly steadily. I recognise I’ve probably got quite a strong constitution, I can happily have a couple of pints of beer, a bottle of wine and half a litre of whisky to wake up with only a mild hangover and off to work. But I can’t be the only one who thinks that there are no silver bullets or quick fixes, that all aspects of your life need attention. That you can’t endlessly chase a phantom goal. That if you’re going to enjoy your life you’re going to need to actually enjoy not only the tangible goals you have but also the process of achieving them. That most of the time your cravings are good and to be followed. That random focus on specific aspects of your life is counter-productive. That you can have fish and chips every now and then as part of a balanced diet but a balanced diet can only be had as part of a balanced lifestyle.

I have two phobias, one is boredom and the other is looking back on my life in 30 years to realise I’ve spent an awful lot of time on something which promised so much but has actually just stopped me doing something I really enjoy. I’ve tried exercising according to a plan (e.g. Mon, Weds, Fri or every weekday or weekends plus one weekday) and it usually lasts two-four weeks before I miss a session and think “damn that was good, I should skip the gym more often”. It turns into a chore, an unpleasant process which must be adhered to for future gains. Now I have no plan, I just listen to my cravings… I’ve been running for 6 months.

I hate the boogie monster. Sneaking around, making weird noises in my flat at night. Piss off boogie monster. No one is scared of you.

Fear is a terrible thing. So is doubt. You know, I’m 28 years old and I am still afraid of the dark. Laugh it up. One day you will be grabbed at the ankles whilst walking up the stairs and you too will feel the cold clutch of death around your heart (ok so it was just Dad trying to freak me out when I was little but it was damn scary!!). The point here is it takes BALLS to attempt some stuff. Remember my friends saying their marathons and 10k’s were nothing compared to my Ironman? Well that is still bullshit and here is why. Some people have mountains to climb and fears to face. It doesn’t matter what those fears are. They are individual and they are all relevant. It takes a hell of a lot of grit and determination to push past them.

I actually wanted to call this post “Is it sunny or is it not sunny?” after meeting Jess for lunch. She comes out with some crackers… Seriously though, London weather, can we make a decision here? My skin is sticky but I’m not wearing sunglasses. NOT OK.

Maybe it’s because I brought the clouds over with my Cloud 9 chat yesterday. Get it?! See what I did?! Pun city. Did you know I was in Wales at the weekend? Unless you were recreating the scene with Wilson on a desert island there is no way you missed me abusing social media to the extent I did over the weekend. As a refresher: I went to Tenby, Tenby being the location of my Ironman in 54 days (huugghghhhghghg – oh sorry – just dry heaved). In Tenby I met some fellow Ironman competitors and on Sunday I rode the full bike course. Well, actually, the bike course is 112 miles on the day and I rode 70 miles of it but you have to repeat the big loop on the day…. Looky here:

For those not in the know and let’s face it, who would be in the know? Wales is up there with the hardest Ironman courses in the world, or so I am told. Why? Well it ain’t flat. Like at all. Not even a little bit. It’s got bigger humps than Fergie and to put it politely I was ever so slightly ABSOLUTELY SHITTING MYSELF about this course. The horror stories I have heard over the past 7 months have had me waking up in a cold sweat and realising I wasn’t climbing Everest on a kids tricycle. (Don’t ask).

So it’s hilly. Oh and it’s windy. Great. But guess what? Set out on Sunday morning, full of porridge and poached eggs and some serious carb loading from the previous day (thank you very much Haribo and digestives – yes – I am not always healthy) aaaaaaaaaaaand….. I LOVED IT. The scenery was breathtaking. The sun was shining. My legs were strong. My bike was fast. Utterly thrilled. I got my nutrition right. I got my hydration right. I got my cadence (the speed I turn the pedals) right. *High friggin-FIVE*

When I first started training for this Ironman I couldn’t climb a standard sized hill on Amira (my bike) without being on the verge of tears. My thighs were screaming, I was breathing so hard I thought I’d throw up – it was horrendous – they make it look so easy. Yesterday I rode the Ironman course and felt strong for the duration. The course has three major hills = Heartbreak hill, Wisemans Bridge and Narberth. Now excuse me, but that’s an effing achievement. But it is not the point. The point is, KEEP GOING. Just keep going. Heartbreak, weight gain, depression, skint-ness (definitely a word). Just damn well stick at your goals. You will surprise yourself….

This is, once again, getting a bit deep and emotional and we hate that stuff don’t we? (Lies – I am, according to my good friend Jack: “a ball of emotion and excitement” – charming). But look guys, Ironman is massive. I will be out on that course from 6:30am until around 9pm… possibly longer. People don’t make it. People are pulled out of the ocean during the swim. They fail the cut off times. These are all massive possibilities for me but I will be DAMNED if I don’t give it my all.

Perspective. Another important quality I have learned in the past few months. Largely diet based. Remember my confession about the eating disorders? Well picture this… on my bike ride yesterday I burned around 4000 calories – that’s roughly 17 Mars Bars or 80 apples. Now you know I advocate a healthy lifestyle yes? We like our veg and our protein and our sensible carb portions. WELL ALL THAT WENT OUT THE WINDOW YESTERDAY. Ordinarily I’d freak out at eating an entire packet of Caramel Digestives but on the 6 hour train home to London from Tenby that is exactly what I did. I also had pizza and crisps and haribo (I am going to turn into a cola bottle and I don’t even like them. I’m a tangfastic cherry girl). Now then – I am not particularly proud of this feast but I was feeling proud of my bodies achievements so I let it have whatever it wanted. Going forward though I will definitely be aiming to refuel, revitalise, re-energise, whatever you choose to call it – myself with natures choices e.g. honey, oats, dried fruit, nuts etc etc…. OR I will eat pizza and chocolate. No Cat! Come on! But this is also progress – no guilt – just recognition of damned hard work. Mind you, I was back on the quark and berries and almonds and forty billion litres of water this morning..

So, you fabulous folks – I must now ask for your help. I have been thinking about the final countdown to the big day (13th September) and I would like to ask you a favour. If you have any desire to support me financially then the links are below. I am raising in memory of a dear friends granddaughter who tragically passed away recently. SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) if an appalling disease that cannot be treated currently and more research is required to help these poor babies and their heartbroken families. I have set up a Just Giving page where you can donate as much or as little as you want and I have also set up a Text donation service:

If however you have sponsored half your facebook friends already this year then I am asking something of you that costs nothing. Can you post little messages of encouragement? I am going to set up an Ironman Support page and then I am going to write them all down with your names and read them the night before the race. Your support will get me up heartbreak hill (google it – it’s grim and I have to ride it twice), your support will make me run instead of walk, your support will mean more than any power bar hydration.

Sorry for the emotion. It’s going to be a big couple of months.

Now go and sponsor me cheapskates. Jokes.(Seriously though… a fiver – love ya)

C xxx

I had a light bulb moment on the way to work this morning. Like a proper “wow… that is seriously interesting and wise” moment. I felt like grabbing the guy on the escalator and shouting my epiphany in his grumpy, sweaty little face. Obviously I didn’t because I was marching up the escalator two steps at a time – feel the buuuuuuuuuuuuuurn.

TING! Lightbulb moment went like this. See how people talk about buying new gym clothes to moticate you to go and workout? Well I have always thought this was pretty much a load of bullpoo. You could give me solid gold leggings and there would still be moments I’d rather lay on the sofa and watch Sex and the City on repeat (Carrie, seriously, be more annoying please). Anyway, solid gold leggings wouldn’t work. That’s just stupid.

I took yesterday off work to go and get my bike fixed and also learn how to change a tyre. Yeah that’s right. I’m doing an Ironman in less than 60 days and up until yesterday I didn’t know how to change a tyre. Quit your mocking – at least I’m honest. Now you know I haven’t been feeling on top of my cycling game recently? Well yesterday was a big test for me. This will be irrelevant for most of you but to put it into perspective I have had an irrational fear of riding in rush hour for as long as I can remember after reading about so many people being killed. Morbid I know. Serious stuff though. Yesterday morning I rode from Camden to Putney through Central London, IN THE RAIN and I didn’t get knocked off my bike. This essentially equates to winning gold in Beijing as far as I am concerned. I got my bike sorted (cyclists of London you seriously need to get to Velosport in Putney – tell Bruce I sent you) and then I rode home. Actually scratch that, I didn’t “ride” home – I FLEW home… at one billion miles an hour on my new tyres and saddle. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Now let’s turn this into something you guys actually give a shit about. You know when you get new shoes and there’s something about wearing them that just makes you feel GOOD? Same with when you get anything new really. New car = wanting to drive EVERYWHERE, even up the drive to collect the post. New telly = recording channels you would never normally watch just because you can. New moisturiser equals this…

So – what I am saying is. Don’t let you mind be fooled into thinking you don’t want to do something. Or you are rubbish at something. Or you can’t do something. My gorgeous friend Abi is convinced she is too slow on her bike to get round the course in Wales in the allotted time. I refuse to believe this. We just have to find the key to getting her a little faster.

I honestly think that something as simple as feeling GOOD or COMFORTABLE can drastically improve your A game. In fact I know for a fact that if I look and feel good then I definitely do a better job of winning at life. That’s pretty obvious but it’s IMPORTANT. If you feel worried or shy about starting something because you think everyone is better than you then pack it in (Geordie for STOP IT). Just roll up your sleeves and crack on. I must read a thousand posts a day on Instagram about “no regrets” and “not starting something is your failure” or some other motivational hoohar. When I signed up for Ironman I’d never ridden a road bike. I kid you not. I went out and bought one and I was dead honest with everyone about my lack of knowledge. You have to be! Everyone has to start somewhere.

The result of my spanky new bike is I now want to ride it everything – all the time. I might just sit on it at home tonight and gaze adoringly at the new handlebar tape. (Seriously what has happened to me? I used to have flowers in the house not greasy bike wheels). What I’m saying is, if you are lacking in “oomph” to get to the gym or to prep your food or to walk to work or whatever… try getting new lycra, try getting new tupperware, try getting new headphones (I can highly recommend Bose as the best in the industry as far as I am concerned). Little things can have a huge impact on your day to day fitness and nutrition.

Again I hope this is helping in some shape or form? I should really dedicate this post to Lucy Wheeler (follow her on Instagram = lucy_fitness). She is smashing the fitness and healthy eating and she posts some brilliant stuff. She is also phenomenally supportive. Always checking in to see if I can go to one of her trendy fitness classes or asking how training is going. These are the people that improve my day to day training.

Another newbie fuellingthefoodie fan is Miss Annabel Tatnall. Keen to improve her health and fitness game she has sent some awesome requests my way so watch this space for more eating ideas to keep the nutrition dream alive.

I’m off to Tenby this weekend to ride some of the Ironman course with my girl Abi. This will be the first big test to see how scary September 13th will be.

I still find it strange to think I am actually doing this. Two years ago I couldn’t be bothered to run the Great North Run. Oh actually that reminds me – my neighbour Emma trains in my gym and I saw her there the other night. We were discussing her upcoming bike challenge and she said “oh but it’s nothing compared to your Ironman” – ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH OF THESE COMMENTS. I mean it. The reality is I needed something TERRIFYING to really get me to commit and shake me up a bit. The distance is irrelevant.

Oh and if you are sitting reading this thinking “I hate running and I have no interest in doing any sort of marathon or organised endurance event/competition of any form”. I hear ya. I am not really into this stuff either to be honest but you can surprise yourself. I was always bored reading “sign up to a a fun run and you will enjoy it”. No I won’t actually – I’d rather go for unlimited prosecco brunch than organise myself to run alongside thousands of people for “fun”. The funny thing is… that is totally fine. Something eventually will click for you, you will start training or exercising and you may hate it and see it as a drag but something after a few months will click and you will find something that you love and look forward to. Just keep going until that light bulb moment appears – and then let me know when it happens. It is a great feeling.

Thursday love you to all you heroes.

Keep being awesome.

C xxx

Nah – not even a little bit

Hello and welcome to my cookery show…

My flatmate Erin think’s I’m a really good cook. Pretty cool huh? It makes me laugh when she says it. I think in comparison to anyone microwaving their dinner I might be a really good cook. Oh and FYI — I microwaved my sweet potato last night. I have discovered that in the time it takes to empty a bag of salad leaves, chop up a cooked chicken breast, slice a packet of tomatoes in half and scoop out the flesh of a whole avocado I can cook my potato to perfection. How’s that for multitasking?

So after yesterdays confession and heart warming story I got looooooads of messages. Hurrah! My boss hates you all. It is very difficult to ignore the little green messages flashing up on my screen. Fortunately, as we discovered with the dinner prep, I am very good at multitasking. *polishing my solid platinum halo*

One of the messages went like this….

Oh did it now Ms Watkins?! Well consider your wish granted. Gosh I’d make a great genie. Except I’m claustrophobic so I’d need a proper MASSIVE lamp. Sorry – that was a bit random.

Moving on! So, recipes…. Well actually, I hate to break it to you, but generally speaking I don’t use them. The reason being, I generally don’t have all the ingredients I need and when I’m hungry I am eating right bloody now. So instead I tend to go with whatever is in the house. Or I will be talking to Erin during the day and we will think about what we fancy for dinner – “I think I need carbs tonight” or “oh my god I really really want Mexican food”. Then I will think about what we already have in the house and generally speaking, because of the shopping list I dictated in a previous post (SEE! This is why you should sign up to receive these via email – the little liney box at the top right of this screen! Go and chuck your deets in there) I can generally come up with something to satisfy the cravings without making us look like Jabba the Hut doppelgangers. So, a few recipes that I always turn to on a Sunday or midweek.

Sunday Prep

We have already discussed at length the important of this (can be Saturday if you’re feeling really mental and want to push the boat RIGHT out). So I spoke about the Greek salad already and we have looked at “Man Chilli” too…. How about some chicken?! I know, dead boring, BUT a firm staple.

See these packets of spices and herbs loitering in the back of your cupboard? Well these are the key to tasty snacks/meals. This could not be simpler. For a weeks worth of chicken:

• Buy 1kg of chicken (I like the strips of chicken breast 3 for £10 in Waitrose)
• Put frying pan on heat
• Open packets of chicken and selected herbs/spices (italian herb mix/smoked paprika/dried garlic/curry powders e.g. madras etc all work well oh and so do those funny little seasoning packets for fajitas!)
• Tip a good amount of the powder onto the raw chicken and rub it in with your hands – ewwwwww
• Throw seasoned chicken into frying pan – no need for oil but a little teaspoon of coconut oil is sometimes nice
• Cook chicken until 90% cooked and then throw into waiting tupperware box (leave lid off until cooled then refrigerate)

Now then – congratulations – you have the basis for salads, wraps, snacks on it’s own, omelettes, soups, stir fries, curries – WHATEVER. You have the cooked chicken, the world is now your oyster.

Let’s get a bit more technical…

Midweek meals

So many options I don’t even know where to start. I am so inspired/overly enthusiastic that I just dropped half my forkful of lunch on the desk – oh no you don’t Mr cucumber and feta, get back on that fork. So let’s say you have food in the fridge. But dear god – what if you don’t?! Ben at work says he only ever buys his food on the way home. I obviously told him that was dumb but lets go with it for now… My top ten – no wait, ten is too many, top FIVE, recipes that are dead easy and involve little cooking know how or effort.

1. Eggs – in any way shape or form. Poached/scrambled/omelette-ed. For perfect eggs you need to stop overthinking and stressing, it’s DEAD easy:
   1. Poached = simmering pan of water, crack egg into mug, tip gently into water, leave it alone until white is cooked – around 2 minutes normally. Have on top of salad with crispy bacon for low carb mouth happiness
   2. Scrambled = I use a frying pan and NO oil or butter. Crack at least 3 eggs into the frying pan and keep it on a low to medium heat. Stir until the eggs are catching/cooking on the bottom of the pan. Keep stirring until sloppy consistency. Season with salt and pepper. Serve on a slice on lovely seedy bread with smoked salmon and a big salad for a mega fast mega, easy breakfast/lunch/dinner
   3. Omelette = Jack Braniff is the king of omelettes. Go and see his post about it on Instagram (urbanenergie) or Facebook. Basically you want 2-3 eggs and then a good selection of strong flavoured additions. Spring onion, feta cheese, tomato, red onion, chicken, real ham, some smoked fish…. You get the idea. My favourite is this one: – http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/eggs-recipes/mexican-filled-omelette/
2. Chicken/Avocado/Sweet potato – If I have been training this is literally my staple dinner. It tastes unreal and it’s so easy to make a blind rat could make it (no idea where that came from… brain you are being WEIRD today). You can jazz salads up with dressings. Erin loves the tablespoon of low fat plain yoghurt, teaspoon of pesto, big squeeze of lemon juice and salt and pepper. Dead easy and makes the most boring lettuce taste rad (RAD – yes really).
3. Prawns – for my friend Kate who sent me the above message. My response? “Get your frying pan or wok on the heat, add a teaspoon of coconut oil, a crushed garlic clove, a smushed up piece of fresh ginger and some red chilli. Throw in your brocolli (chop it teeny tiny), your spinach, your peppers, your onions, your mushrooms, your pok choy (faaancy), your baby corn, your asparagus – whatever. Cook until wilting. Add a tablespoon of soy sauce and a big squeeze of lime and a tiny squeeze of honey. Throw in your packet of prawns and stir through. Serve with crushed peanuts and some coriander. DEAD easy. You can mix and match with whatever veg you have and OBVIOUSLY use your cooked chicken in place of prawns if you want.
4. Steak with poached egg and salad. This is a bit of a treat to be honest. The poached egg yolk makes a banging sauce though! Cook your steak (I did a blog about this previously). THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF COOKING STEAK IS LETTING IT REST. Rest the steak for half the amount of time you cooked it. If you are having carbs then it’s great with roasted buttnernut squash. I leave the skin on my squash. Chop it up and put it in a roasting tray with a whole clove of garlic chopped in half straight through the middle. Little drizzle of oil, sea salt, dried chilli flakes and 190 degrees for 30 minutes. Yummy and way lower in carbs and calories than potatoes.
5. Curry/Laksa. Another one the girls love. Especially Thai curries. Really really not scary and dead easy. Go to the shops and buy a red or green thai curry paste (PASTE not sauce). I can teach you how to make it from scratch but we ain’t got time for the shit right now. Put your frying pan or wok on the hob and get it smoking hot. Put in most of the paste if you want this to provide leftovers. Dry fry the paste until you are choking on the spicy fumes. Add a can of light coconut milk. Fill the empty can with water and throw that in. If you want to make curry with rice then reduce (make less liquid in the pan) the sauce by letting it bubble away. If you want laksa (broth style soupy concoction) then now get all your veg. Loads of it. Throw that in. If you are having carbs then rice noodles are awesome. Throw them in a bowl and cover with boiling water and leave them alone till soft. For curry just add your chicken or fish or prawns at the end. For laksa put the noodles in the soupy sauce and serve in giant bowls with chopsticks (I do not steal them from Itsu – ever) and spoons. Yummy! If you want to up your flavour game then you can get some fish sauce or soy sauce in there. Be conservative though as this stuff is saaaaaalty.

Ok – this is getting waaaaaaaay too long but hopefully it has given you some ideas to break out of your normal routine?

If you want me to help with ideas or anything to do with cooking then shoot me a message. I ain’t no Delia but I can throw some stuff in a pan and generally make it taste better than plain boiled carrots.

Muchos cooking lovos, C xx

P.S. We may have to discuss food and stress and training. I woke myself up last night shouting “WAIT!” at 1:34am. I was dreaming that I was trying to get ready for a party and someone kept trying to open the bathroom door. I tell you… a few days of stress at work and I can’t even sleep…  #pathetic

P.P.S. If you want to get real fancy and have a good old carb session (post mega workout only #obvs) then come to my house and me and Maggie will show you how to make THIS… #skillzzzzzzzzzzz

FIRST THINGS FIRST! I FOUND MY MOJO!!! IT WAS HIDING UNDER THE SOFA PLAYING WITH THE DEAD FLIES. LITTLE TINKER.

Now onto the actual topic – Who the bloody hell is Violet Beauregarde? Man alive that took me about 8 minutes to type her surname. Why couldn’t I pick an easier brat to talk about.

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY!

It is a bloody great day today. It’s raining. I’m in the office. I feel quite fat. I stuffed my face yesterday. I couldn’t walk to work this morning because it was raining. My boss yelled at me and told me I could be sacked for something I didn’t do.

….GREAT DAY!

I’m not even joking. Nothing is ruining my mood today. I had an awesome Sunday. If you don’t follow me on Instagram or aren’t friends with me on Facebook then you should be. Add me – whine whine desperate desperate. https://www.facebook.com/catriona.macpherson.5

Back to Violet. Why is she here? Here is why. Do you know how many times a day I hear or read this phrase? “Quickest/fastest/best/results/holiday shape up/bikini body – HOW?”

Ok so maybe it isn’t written in that EXACT way but it is close enough and you get what I am on about yes? We are Generation NOW. Generation impatient. Generation instant. Generation impatient. Generation Violet Beaurer-oh I give up. Seriously! We want to be in shape or healthier or fitter or faster RIGHT.BLOODY.NOW. I am mega guilty of this too. I was thinking about this yesterday. I remember my friend Neil Lytollis (people of the North East – ask me for his details – ridiculously good PT) shouting at me last year. “You spent 26 years putting that fat on Cat – you can’t expect to lose it all in a few months”. Bloody wise git. Shut up Neil. Sadly though, he is dead right.

Holiday in a few weeks? Want to shape up? Don’t be bloody mental. Crash dieting will cause more harm than good and we really need to try and get past this “but I need to look good for this event” mentality. Firstly, you are lush (hey there Geordie speak) as you are but if you want to get in better shape etc than that is awesome – just do it the right way. Secondly, if I have learnt nothing else over the past couple of years it is that training and nutrition are seriously, 100%, not telling you bullshit, really being honest – ABOUT LIFE LONG CHANGES.

Anyway, we have talked about this before. But I thought I would go into a bit more detail because I know it affects everyone. Like everyone everyone. If this applies to you then try and remember it all year round. If you want to look good in a bikini then that’s fine. Who doesn’t?! Oh sorry boys, you want to look good in you speedos too, I know, don’t worry. An ex-boyfriend said to me this morning “oh my god you have made massive progress” – jog on pumpkin… there’s a reason you’re an ex. Also, I do not have abs all the time. SERIOUSLY. And when I DO have abs it’s because I have deliberately manipulated my training and diet to make them look better. And guess what? It took ages to learn what this entails (Urban Energie link at the top if you want to learn – tell him I sent you please). Don’t get disheartened. Just try and be patient. Just like Take That said…. (bloody great song – actually it’s not, it’s rubbish, but I still love TT).

So! Lot’s more positivity over the weekend! All you lushy folk getting on the Whatsapp to say you love the blog or verbally kicking me up the backside to get on with my training (Special thanks to Lucy Wheeler, Lucy (Allforthesakeofcake), Abi (afloralcrown), Jack Braniff, Jack Parker and Beth Rodgers). Mojo firmly back in place and ready to smash this week of training. Sometimes all you need is, wait for ittttttttttttttt, PATIENCE and a bit of support. Blimey it’s going to turn into a singalong if I’m not careful.

MOVING ON! How sad is this? I’m writing this without inputting any memes in. I am DEAD excited to go and google applicable memes to input once I’ve got the main part of the text written. Tra la la la!

I read a lovely quote last week…

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

― Roald Dahl

How nice is that?! Can you tell I am in a good mood? It’s TRUE though. Remember my meme with little Jimmy blowing up his mates treehouse? What a little shit. That’s no way to behave. And behaving like Violet beaureblabla isn’t any way to behave either. So I am going to stop being little miss mopey no mojo and I am going back to being little miss positive kick bum at training and eat loads of veg instead. I think that flows quite nicely don’t you? I might change my work email signature to that. See if anyone notices…

Next time you are hating your body and being awful to yourself for not having a six pack for your week in Ibiza just try and take a deep breath and remember it takes time and that is totally ok. Slow progress is good. Means it is likely to last longer.

Oh and remember me talking about summer recipes? Had an awesome lunch today. Who likes Greek salad? Me me me me! Well my Dad doesn’t but he hates goats cheese and cucumber. Weirdo (love you pops). Greek salad is a winner for the following reasons:

• Cucumber is magic. Not like a wand (although that would be hilarious – expelliarmus with the salad essentials – if you don’t know Harry Potter you currently have a very confused look on your face). No but seriously, cucumber, urgh, I just googled health benefits and there are WAY too many to list here. In a nutshell, loads of vitamins, hydrating, filling, low calorie, zero fat.
• Tomatoes are also magic. Similar profile to cucumber but with loads of antioxidant power.
• Feta cheese. Dead strong in flavour so you only need around 50g which means you get yummy cheesy salty lunch with no need for dressing.
• Chicken – We add this for protein which means we stay full. Yay. It also supports our fabulous muscles. Muscles = abs and defined limbs. Win.
• Olives – a few black olives mean more flavour too. Double yay.

That was literally my lunch! Look! Here it is in all it’s salad-dy glory!

To summarise…

1. Small changes will have huge long lasting effects. Drink more water, eat less refined crap, go for some walks – all great places to start.
2. You cannot force your body into “ripped” shape in a matter of weeks. Calm yourself down and focus on long term changes.
3. Try not to stress about what other people are doing or what their progress is. Remember patience and Roald Dahl’s wise words about having nice thoughts and sunshine faces and unicorns and gummy drops and Cat you really need to get a grip today…
4. Get some supportive folks around you – this is invaluable.

Oh and one final confession from me. This one is pretty personal so here goes…

….I struggled with eating disorders for the best part of 12 years. It was grim. I won’t go into details but it has taken a DAMN long time to get to where I am now. For the first time in my entire life I looked at my body last night, actually it was my legs in particular. I had just eaten around 3000 (probably closer to 4000) calories after a big training session. I was pleased with myself for getting the session done as I had been dreading it for ages so I treated myself…. a lot. As a result of my feasting I was feeling pretty heavy and pretty “not lean”. Instead of looking at myself and saying “you greedy cow – you’ve undone all your hard work” – I looked at my thighs and thought “bloody good work little legs. You powered that bike for three hours and you’re dead strong. Cheers.”

Might go and have a little moment of smiling now.

Cheers to your little legs (or giant strong legs if you are a man) too.

High five from me. C xx

Man ALIVE this week has kicked my ass…

There is something strange going on. Symptoms include:

• Not wanting to get out of bed in the morning
• Trying to stop myself eating cheeseburgers every night
• Not wanting to train
• Feeling generally a bit “meh”

I guess the good news is. I think I know what is causing it…

• Time of the month (sorry boys – that’s science)
• Dehydrated (my water intake has been lower than normal for some reason)
• Not fuelling myself properly (fruit and yoghurt is not dinner Cat – don’t be so lazy)
• I stayed up late every single night last weekend

See what I mean? All those little things that you think don’t make a difference. They do. They make a bloody massive difference. Especially to someone like me who is temperamental at the best of times. Fortunately, not training just isn’t an option for me right now. We have 9 weeks to go until Ironman (prepare to be bombarded with requests for sponsorship #sorrynotsorry). That means I absolutely 110% have GOT to train every single day except my one rest day a week.

So – mission “find mojo” is underway…

It’s funny how when we are feeling a bit “meh” we are still able to support others around us. Just yesterday I was talking to someone that was struggling adapting their lifestyle to being healthier and I was making suggestions on how to make things easier. TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE CAT YOU EEJIT. It can be really bloody hard though can’t it? You’re tired. You’re skint. You’re hungry. You don’t want bloody veg and fish for dinner. I know. Like I REALLY know.

Then you go Instagram or Facebook and some nob has posted about their 5:30am workout and their superfood smoothie and how awesome life is. Yeah yeah shut up you #cleaneating jerk.

But hold it right there! I just had a phone call from my new friend Mr Parker (not Spiderman… I know – I was disappointed too). He asked what I was writing about, I said “everyone thinks I’m this super fit, super healthy freak that gets up at 5am every day and eats organic veg 24/7” – “yeah everyone thinks that about me too because I’m a PT” – “they don’t see us on rest days paying £3.99 to rent a movie on iTunes when you already own it on DVD but you can’t be bothered to get off the sofa and actually put the DVD in the machine and I am trying to work out if I can morally get away with ordering 12 chicken wings as a ‘side dish’ to my mac and cheese”

This is reality guys. Sometimes we are all killing it. Sometimes we aren’t. You just gotta keep fighting the fight. You can read all the memes in the world telling you “remember why you started” and “this is where champions are made”. Yeah? That’s great pal – you gonna go do my three hour bike training session for me? No? Well shut up then.

HOWEVER!

There is only so much “lost my mojo” blame to go around and we eventually have to square our shoulders, grit our teeth and bloody well get on with it. Because making progress ain’t easy.

Take my friend Mr Parker for example. Ridiculously strong and determined to achieve his physique and strength aspirations through natural methods only (for those not down with the fitness industry lingo, that basically means he will not be taking steroids. Oh. You didn’t realise a lot of people do? Yeah – I know at least two…) He is = “fighting the fight”. One giant 5000 calorie and deadlift day at a time. (Go follow him on Instagram – jparkerfitness – oh and he’s on Facebook too)

Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not running 50,000 miles a week or squatting 4 times your body weight. That’s dumb and it’s negative and you know how we feel about negative vibes…. But at the same time be aware that once in a while you are going to hit the mental brick wall.

And that mental brick wall is damn high and it doesn’t want to let you break it down. But you totes can team. You totes can. Hell – YOU’VE GOT THIS.

If you have been to the gym this week or you’ve made your lunches for work or you’ve drank more water or you’ve been walking more. Give yourself a damn pat on the back. If you said no to the biscuits at work or you hit a new personal best then go high five the nearest person to you… You are awesome.

BUT…. if you didn’t. If you watched telly instead of going to yoga with your mate. If you slept in instead of going to the gym. If you drove to the Tesco that is half a mile from your house whereupon you purchased a 6 pack of Miller and an oven pizza. Don’t go thinking you’re rubbish. It’s Friday and sometimes life gets in the way — BUT —- you know deep down that that sort of behaviour isn’t going to get you anywhere very quickly.

Bloody hell there is a GIANT fly in the room. It is so damn buzzy. PISS OFF FLY.

Oh and one last quick thing – did I tell you I stopped taking all my supplements a few weeks ago? I was taking:

• Multivitamin
• Omega/Fish Oil
• Probiotic
• Green Tea
• Iron supplement

Well – ANOTHER reason I think I have felt so damn pathetic this week is due to my body lacking certain minerals/vitamins. As we already know, I train quite a bit and when I train I sweat – A LOT. People who train a lot need some help via certain supplements sometimes. I prefer to get them from real food but it looks like the iron levels need upping. (Take note women if you constantly feel tired… could be worth looking into – remember though I ain’t a Dr so go check it out before making any changes)

Ok – I can see my mojo cowering over in the corner so I’m going to punch it in the face and get on with my day.

Much love to you all. Smash your weekends.

C xxx

Ben: You need a title about the tube strike

Me: That’s not a bad idea actually

Kate: Maybe you could do something like mind the gap?

Me: What about “mind the thigh gap”?

I know what I’d rather have – more importantly though what is that even about? Bloody thigh gap. How 2013.

Moving on! Lots more comments FLINGING themselves at me over the past 24 hours. We like it! We also like the tube strike. Quiet down in the back will ya! Let me finish! Hands up who knows why I like the tube strike? Ok fine, the fact I get to work from home tomorrow MIGHT be an added bonus. More importantly though it means everyone has to walk places.

Stompy stompy stomp stomp. Walking is awesome. I know I’ve touched on this previously but let’s put it into terms that can be readily understood. We know I like walking to and from walk. It is roughly an hours walk. At my age, weight and height that means I burn roughly 250-300 kcals each way. That’s a minimum burn of 500 kcals a day which ALSO saves me money by avoiding the tube which ALSO saves my sanity by avoiding the tube and which ALSO gives me a tan (when it ain’t chucking it down).

I know a few people that have adopted the walking philosophy. One of my besties – wee Julie – HIYA! – started walking to and from work. Few weeks later? Bye bye lbs and hallo more energy and stronger thighs (toning is for sissys). Walking is massively underrated. If you are in London get the City Mapper app and use it for the walking guide instead of the tube stop guide. Get Spotify whilst you’re at it. I am making a Fuelling The Foodie playlist. If you like dance/electro/techno/house then wave your hand because you will like this. Sharing is Caring!

So there you go – I once walked from Clapham to Camden, admittedly that was maybe taking things a bit far but you’d be surprised how little time it takes to walk versus tube/bus. (I understand people living outside London have to use cars etc but you get my point right?)

Fasten your seatbelts – we’re going in for a total 180 now!

Driving! Driving is also awesome! Ha – Cat you big hypocrite. Seriously though, I know anyone living outside of London will generally be driving to work etc so here is something to think about…

My friend David Pye did this. I’m not going to start getting into details about the rally because that’s not what we are here to learn about but put it this way – you think your daily commute is the cause of not having time to eat well and exercise? This was a 10,000 mile journey and Pye-so (I have to call him that) is hench. Yes. Hench. Did he come back fat? No. Did he lose all his muscle? No.

I asked him how and why – take note long distance commuters and weekly motorway travel by car work(ers).

What did you eat Pye?

“Imagine trying to buy healthy food in petrol stations… oh and then the desert. We mostly lived on miscellaneous meats (including horse), curds (wtf is that?!), whey, sesame seed bars, dried fruit and pickles. Oh and then sausages full of ground up bone/cartilage or whatever in Romania. We made some lorne sausage on the transfagarasan (famous Top Gear road) as we couldn’t pallet the bones so threw them onto the road to get squashed by other cars. Then there were the chicken legs pumped full of orange stuff in Russia near Mongolia. Tasted like rubber. BBQ was wasted on that meal”

Sounds nice huh?! Next time you’re turning your nose up at the options on your travels think about the Mongol Rally team. There is almost ALWAYS a better option than crisps and chocolate. It just takes some thought. Think yoghurt/fruit/nuts/meat and generally speaking you will be better off. Oh and water over Diet Coke. Obvs.

But how did he keep the guns?! Hang on hang on I mean biceps not friggin’ firearms. Well OBVIOUSLY I asked him that as well…

Pye, did you manage to do ANY exercise?

“Well yes Cat! Yes I did! (He didn’t say this but I think it sounds better) I didn’t get much time but took TRX (the ropes that are attached to the ceiling in the gym) and as you’ll see in the film I did press ups whenever we got a minute and I wasn’t ill (ground up bones and horse meat will do that to you Pye). I did sit ups and air squats some mornings before we packed up the tent and I ran on the beach in Romania. We actually did crunches in the sea! We had a hand grip thing in the back of car and we did lots of changing tyres and pushing cars out of steep rocky valleys… My bro challenged me to do handstand push ups at every stop but I just way too frantic. (Pathetic excuse Pye)”

How’d you like them apples?! Not trying to make anyone feel bad. Just putting it into context. Sometimes the best exercises are the random ones. Laugh about it! My friend Phoebe and I have been doubled over laughing at ourselves doing ministry of silly walks (aka walking lunges) through Regents Park. Body weight exercises can be absolutely brilliant if you can’t get to an Olympic bar (the bar you load the plates onto and look hellish strong doing chest press with) or a set of kettle-bells. Once you learn proper form you’d be surprised at where and how often you can do them. I’ve been known to do press ups off the sink in the bathroom every time I go. Which can be a lot since I drink at least 3l of water a day. Oh – too much information? Sorry about that…

Oh before I forget – the link to Pye’s Mongol Rally documentary. It’s AWESOME.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI-x35CMXgc

Oh and another thing – before I go and do some press ups, ha – have we  talked about setting challenges/goals? Well Pye and I were discussing it earlier. Remember me mentioning the chin up goal? Well I am NEARLY there (by there I mean I am nearly able to do ONE). I strongly recommend setting yourself some goals that are NOT “lose 10lbs” or “be a size 10 by Christmas”. Pick something you will enjoy doing.

Pye and I are doing some sort of CatPye (see what I did there? Sounds like we are making a pie out of cats doesn’t it – larfs) challenge. My goals after Ironman are:

1. Chin ups AND pull ups
2. One armed press ups
3. Squat twice my body weight (I weigh around 63kg and I can’t currently squat thanks to messed up ankle alignment but I’m not letting that put me off)

Let me know what you’re going to do and I can feature your progress to prove it’s worth doing!

As always – send me your messages – it makes a big difference to my day…

C xxx

I was going to title this post along the lines of “Why laughing is important” and we all know how much I love a good meme so I Googled “laughter quotes” and it gave me the above. I snorted water out of my nose at my desk.

Laughing is good stuff. I do it a lot. Probably too much sometimes. Then again maybe not… Exhibit A:

1. Laughing lowers blood pressure
2. Reduces stress hormone levels
3. Works your abs
4. Improves cardiac health
5. Boosts T Cells (something to do with your immune system)
6. Triggers the release of endorphin’s
7. Produces a general sense of well being

And the best part? Some of you think my little blog is funny. So not only can I sleep at night knowing I have taught some people how to make banana bread but I am also, unless you are all liars, PHYSICALLY conditioning you. You are totes welcome by the way.

A few things I wanted to discuss today. First the article I just read in The Daily Mail *booooo hisss booooooo*. Yes yes I know it is tripe but the article was BRILLIANT. http://dailym.ai/1LQeGu7 – I implore you to read it. I just found Aj Odudu on Instagram and sent her a message telling her how much I loved it. Another thing I love is the This Girl Can campaign. You’ve definitely seen it. The Missy Elliott song with the women swimming, running and playing football? FIERCE. We need more of this I think. Remember I was talking about PMA yesterday? Well it’s an important thing.

My friend asked me to put my “light bulb moment” into a sentence this morning. I went on to write a full email about it and then he said it was too much! Well in that case I will share it with you guys…

“So yeah, you obviously know my history with the whole going backwards and forwards with diet etc. I actually had a similar conversation with Mum in Scotland. Long story short: People think dieting for 4 weeks will get them the body they want for the rest of their lives. They don’t realise that in order to maintain a body achieved through, let’s say, juice diet – you would have to keep doing that juice diet forever to stay that way. That’s why, obviously, the way other people approach it is so much nicer and more realistic. The whole body for life with a lifestyle worth living. Not living on juice.”

“Anyway – so I started seeing results and then I plateaued and was really demotivated but it was one day in the gym where I suddenly felt strong and lean and I knew it was working and I just had to keep going. Fast forward like 6 months and I was the best shape I’d ever been. But I think it is very hard for people who are used to losing say 4lbs a week and seeing instant results. Instant results that then instantly undo themselves. It has literally taken me the best part of a year of throwing tantrums and doubting myself and everything else to realise it is a lifestyle. It’s not something you do now and again. I thought it would be dead easy to hit 10st and 15% body fat in the space of 4 months. It’s not. It takes ages. What’s great though, is in the process of chasing your goal you start to realise some things don’t matter anymore. Weighing myself. Doesn’t matter anymore. Being a certain body fat percentage. Doesn’t matter. I don’t even track my calories or macros anymore.”

“It was when I said I wanted to be 15% body fat. I thought it was just more HIIT and less carbs but it’s way more. People don’t realise what it takes. To get to 18% body fat I drank ZERO booze, counted every single calorie and macro, didn’t go out with friends, trained over 9 times a week and that was my life. I’m the sort of person that quite enjoyed it but it was a lot of work and effort.”

“I think the difference for me now though is certain things that seemed like a lot of effort before no longer feel like effort. They are just part of day to day life. Even on holiday!”

• I always have a water bottle on me, usually 1l and I drink it constantly
• I always have good food to hand – prepping chia seed jam or having Total in the fridge or cooked chicken to have with salad
• I train every day in some way or another (more or less – obviously not on rest days). Training can be a walk or it can be 2 hours in the gym or just doing press ups when I wake up

Is that helpful? I don’t want it to sounds patronising! That would NOT be larfs. However, I promised I’d be more honest so there it is…

Let’s get back to cheery cheery shall we? In fact! Let’s talk about some food?! Hot outside innit?! See that frozen yoghurt that’s 0% fat? Yeah it’s not your friend – it’s 0% fat and 100% sugar ergo it’s carbs ergo it’s not getting us leaner. Ha. Sorry sorry. Let’s show the negativity the door shall we?!

Positive stuff. LOADS of nice summer recipes out there at the minute. What are peoples thoughts on cooking? Are you experienced? Novice? Utter shite? Be honest and I’ll help you if I can. I have a plethora (right fancy word that! Means LOADS) of recipes to suit most levels of skill.

I posted a picture on Instagram this morning of the food I was taking to work – I woke up feeling like I’d done six rounds with a crate of tequila and considering I only trained, ate and slept last night this was a grim awakening! BUT! Food prep to the rescue meant I avoided the Pret latte and croissant and was able to chuck my food together in around 4 minutes. Summer means fresh foods so we have ZERO excuse to be eating rubbish. A list of foods you will generally find in my kitchen in the summer:

• Chia seed jam (365 days a year)
• Quark
• Total Greek Yoghurt
• Mango (post training)
• Watermelon (post training)
• Cucumbers (I eat them whole sometimes)
• Cherry tomatoes
• Bags of salad leaves
• Tupperware boxes of cooked chicken
• Eggs
• Smoked Salmon
• Milk
• Asparagus
• Broccoli
• Egg whites
• Avocado
• Fish (I am obsess with the Waitrose Sea Bass with pesto butter – posh but worth it)
• Steak
• Sweet potato
• Pistachios (unsalted)
• Almonds (unsalted)
• Ice cubes (seriously – slice some cucumber and fill a pint glass with water, cucumber and ice – so nice when it’s hot out)
• Raspberries
• Strawberries

With that list of ingredients I am ALWAYS covered for breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners…

Anyway – slightly random one today and I get told off for not having a concise point. If this post has a point it would probably be laugh more. It’s not all doom and gloom. Roll with the punches. It can take time to make progress with stuff but that’s ok. Moving forward slowly is better than not moving at all.

As always – feedback is awesome

Oh wait – that sounds like I’m saying the feedback I get is awesome – I MEAN getting any feedback is helpful. Yes? Clear? Excellent.

C xxx

According to Google this song is actually called Return of the MacK – well tough Mr Morrison – I am changing it to Mac, as in Macpherson, ok?

My colleagues thought I had been fired or in a car accident. That’s just ridiculous. I was on HOLIDAY! But I’m back…. to rock the show (look – if you don’t know the lyrics to Return of the Mac (no K) then you best go learn them because I will be randomly dropping them in throughout this post). Did you know I actually went on a night out with Mark Morrison? Yeah – TRUE STORY. I’ll tell it another day though.

So how are we all? Resplendent in the 36 degree heat? I’m not feeling at all smug that I have come back from a week in Scotland where we had TWO DAYS of sunshine and I am more tanned than all y’all. Psych.

I had a very nice break. Thanks for asking. I ate a lot of food (cornered the market in chocolate and Tangy Cheese Doritos actually) and drank a few beers. BUT – those were really the only “bad” things I ate and actually I bloody enjoyed them. This is a perk of eating well/healthily the majority of the time. Oh and training, that helps too. You see, when you eat well and train you can let a few crisps slide. It’s not the end of the world. It took me a while to realise this. Actually it’s taken me over a decade but I got there eventually. When you have fish and veg for dinner and then set some bananas on fire for pudding you don’t have to nail yourself to a cross… Behold!

Wait wait there’s more!

Play close attention to the main bulk of my food though – I took quark and berries to the beach to have after my running and I took boxes of veg to eat whilst reading my book. No scotch eggs or sausage rolls in my cool bag.

So after my week of daily treats (don’t try this at home kids if you’re looking to get lean – flaming bananas and clotted cream does NOT equal abs) I got home on Friday evening and decided eating was a rubbish idea so just had some drinks of the gin and tequila variety (I think I had taken leave of my senses) and went to bed hungry…

Now learn this lesson from me.If you are susceptible to “emotional” moments do NOT try drinking gin on a Friday and going to bed hungry. THIS IS WHY I DO NOT DRINK. All it resulted in was a rubbish nights sleep, no energy on Saturday, major downer mood, no motivation to train, no motivation to do anything. Result? I moped all day feeling sorry for myself.

However! All was not lost. Remember what we said about not letting one mistake mess up our positive mindsets? PMA! PMA! (Positive Mental Attitude) Well we don’t do that. Because that get’s us nowhere. So – Sunday rolls round and I say to myself “man the f**k up Macpherson – this is pathetic”. I got my ass to the shops, bought my food, prepped my food, tidied my house, got my training kit washed and dried and gave myself the afternoon to chill out. Result this time? Wake up on Monday firing on all cylinders aaaaaaaaaaand it’s Return of the Mac(pherson) once again!  – See what I did there…. It’s ok we are nearly done.

My point, in this rather rambling post…. is I really do have rubbish, lazy, crap, depressing, naughty food, no training moments. They come out of nowhere! I had just had an awesome week of training and resting and everything was rosy. Land in London, couple of drinks aaaaaaaaand see ya later weekend of training and health. Ok it’s not ideal, especially as I only have 9 weeks until Ironman now but I am only human. The difference nowadays though is I can bounce back. I can bounce back from awful low weekends because I have an amazing support network of professionals and friends. Friends that message me and say it’s ok to embrace two (three in reality) rest days instead of one (Thank you Abi). Sometimes you need a rest. Professionals that know who I am as a real person and understand that SOMETIMES (all the times) I can be a bit emotional (shut up Jack). You need this if you want to make progress. I have had a few conversations with girls where they are struggling to gain support from family or friends. Their friends don’t understand why they don’t want to eat ALL the bread before the dinner at the restaurant. Their families don’t understand why they aren’t drinking wine with the Sunday lunch. Their work colleagues don’t understand why they aren’t having the free birthday cake going around the desks.

Don’t stress it. They will get used to it eventually. More importantly focus on the people that DO get it and DO understand it. They are the ones that will push you when you start getting complacent (which you will – it is natural – they don’t call it fighting the fight for nothing).

I hope this resonates with some of you. If it doesn’t then here’s how to set some bananas on fire. For my lovely, supportive, brand spanking new friend; Lucy. Who is always on the end of the phone even though she’s never met me. For your next cheat meal Lucy – this is how you do it properly….

C xxx

“How to scare the life out of your mother” flambeed bananas

2-3 ripe but not squashy bananas

1 teaspoon butter

1 tablespoon double cream

1 tablespoon honey

1 tablespoon brown sugar

Bottle of rum (jokes – around 1/4 wine glass is enough)

Slice the bananas. Melt the butter in a large frying pan and add the cream and sugar and honey. Put the bananas in. Do not poke the bananas around – you will end up with baby food. Wait until the sugar starts to turn a golden colour. Pour over the rum. Light match. Explode your kitchen. Not really. Light match and hold at edge of frying pan. Marvel at professional flames. Let them go out. Pour banana magicalness into bowls (1 banana per person you greedy things). Serve with ice cream or clotted cream.