According to Google this song is actually called Return of the MacK – well tough Mr Morrison – I am changing it to Mac, as in Macpherson, ok?
My colleagues thought I had been fired or in a car accident. That’s just ridiculous. I was on HOLIDAY! But I’m back…. to rock the show (look – if you don’t know the lyrics to Return of the Mac (no K) then you best go learn them because I will be randomly dropping them in throughout this post). Did you know I actually went on a night out with Mark Morrison? Yeah – TRUE STORY. I’ll tell it another day though.
So how are we all? Resplendent in the 36 degree heat? I’m not feeling at all smug that I have come back from a week in Scotland where we had TWO DAYS of sunshine and I am more tanned than all y’all. Psych.
I had a very nice break. Thanks for asking. I ate a lot of food (cornered the market in chocolate and Tangy Cheese Doritos actually) and drank a few beers. BUT – those were really the only “bad” things I ate and actually I bloody enjoyed them. This is a perk of eating well/healthily the majority of the time. Oh and training, that helps too. You see, when you eat well and train you can let a few crisps slide. It’s not the end of the world. It took me a while to realise this. Actually it’s taken me over a decade but I got there eventually. When you have fish and veg for dinner and then set some bananas on fire for pudding you don’t have to nail yourself to a cross… Behold!
Wait wait there’s more!
Play close attention to the main bulk of my food though – I took quark and berries to the beach to have after my running and I took boxes of veg to eat whilst reading my book. No scotch eggs or sausage rolls in my cool bag.
So after my week of daily treats (don’t try this at home kids if you’re looking to get lean – flaming bananas and clotted cream does NOT equal abs) I got home on Friday evening and decided eating was a rubbish idea so just had some drinks of the gin and tequila variety (I think I had taken leave of my senses) and went to bed hungry…
Now learn this lesson from me.If you are susceptible to “emotional” moments do NOT try drinking gin on a Friday and going to bed hungry. THIS IS WHY I DO NOT DRINK. All it resulted in was a rubbish nights sleep, no energy on Saturday, major downer mood, no motivation to train, no motivation to do anything. Result? I moped all day feeling sorry for myself.
However! All was not lost. Remember what we said about not letting one mistake mess up our positive mindsets? PMA! PMA! (Positive Mental Attitude) Well we don’t do that. Because that get’s us nowhere. So – Sunday rolls round and I say to myself “man the f**k up Macpherson – this is pathetic”. I got my ass to the shops, bought my food, prepped my food, tidied my house, got my training kit washed and dried and gave myself the afternoon to chill out. Result this time? Wake up on Monday firing on all cylinders aaaaaaaaaaand it’s Return of the Mac(pherson) once again! – See what I did there…. It’s ok we are nearly done.
My point, in this rather rambling post…. is I really do have rubbish, lazy, crap, depressing, naughty food, no training moments. They come out of nowhere! I had just had an awesome week of training and resting and everything was rosy. Land in London, couple of drinks aaaaaaaaand see ya later weekend of training and health. Ok it’s not ideal, especially as I only have 9 weeks until Ironman now but I am only human. The difference nowadays though is I can bounce back. I can bounce back from awful low weekends because I have an amazing support network of professionals and friends. Friends that message me and say it’s ok to embrace two (three in reality) rest days instead of one (Thank you Abi). Sometimes you need a rest. Professionals that know who I am as a real person and understand that SOMETIMES (all the times) I can be a bit emotional (shut up Jack). You need this if you want to make progress. I have had a few conversations with girls where they are struggling to gain support from family or friends. Their friends don’t understand why they don’t want to eat ALL the bread before the dinner at the restaurant. Their families don’t understand why they aren’t drinking wine with the Sunday lunch. Their work colleagues don’t understand why they aren’t having the free birthday cake going around the desks.
Don’t stress it. They will get used to it eventually. More importantly focus on the people that DO get it and DO understand it. They are the ones that will push you when you start getting complacent (which you will – it is natural – they don’t call it fighting the fight for nothing).
I hope this resonates with some of you. If it doesn’t then here’s how to set some bananas on fire. For my lovely, supportive, brand spanking new friend; Lucy. Who is always on the end of the phone even though she’s never met me. For your next cheat meal Lucy – this is how you do it properly….
“How to scare the life out of your mother” flambeed bananas
2-3 ripe but not squashy bananas
1 teaspoon butter
1 tablespoon double cream
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon brown sugar
Bottle of rum (jokes – around 1/4 wine glass is enough)
Slice the bananas. Melt the butter in a large frying pan and add the cream and sugar and honey. Put the bananas in. Do not poke the bananas around – you will end up with baby food. Wait until the sugar starts to turn a golden colour. Pour over the rum. Light match. Explode your kitchen. Not really. Light match and hold at edge of frying pan. Marvel at professional flames. Let them go out. Pour banana magicalness into bowls (1 banana per person you greedy things). Serve with ice cream or clotted cream.