Well, talk about throwing a 180 on yesterdays quote source! I have somehow managed to go from the family friendly Hook to Vladimir Lenin, Russian communist revolutionary, y’know – as you do..

Fitness industry though, blergh, I hate that phrase. I read a book recently where the main protagonist (oooh fancy! Ok ok, the main character) had a shovel list of words and phrases. Basically whenever she heard something like “there’s plenty more fish in the sea” or “keep your pecker up” she would respond with shovel list, meaning she would like to bury that word forever so it cannot ever be used again. Pretty mental but also pretty funny. My shovel list? Toning, fitness industry, diet, detox, cleanse, journey, moist (ARGH!!!) and when people say “on route” instead of “en route”.

If you hadn’t already noticed, I tend to write on my lunch break. Naturally this is after demolishing 40kg of veg and chicken (and I wonder why office romances aren’t happening?). Another thing I tend to do during my lunch break is read various websites to see what’s happening with food and training outside my own little bubble of “knowledge” (I use quotation marking here as I am by no means knowledgeable – let’s go with opinionated?). Hands up who reads the links on Facebook “20 exercises to blast back fat for good” or has picked up copies of Womens Health at the dentist and read through the articles on the best new 5 minute workout to sculpt your abs. (By the way girls – Mens Health = Much better read..)

…….if your hand isn’t in the air then you’re almost definitely lying. I read them aaaaaall the time. The only difference for me is I now know it is physically impossible to “sculpt your abs” with a 5 minute routine. Think about it. That’s just plain mental. It is also a dirty rotten lie. Well – hold on – don’t start trying to sue me. My point is, these magazines and articles are out there and yes, ok, some of them have great articles and advice but the reality is it takes a lot of work to get the bodies the fitness models have.

That chick? With her tan and her (photoshopped by the way) front cover lycra clad arse? She will be on point with her diet every single day. She won’t drink alcohol. She will train every single day. She will repeat this every single day of the year. Truthfully? She is probably bloody boring. My friend told me last December that if I mentioned protein one more time he was going to delete me. Harsh. I was actually quite surprised! As he was a gym aficionado! But he had a point. My body was getting teeny tiny and super lean but all I did was train, count macros, weigh my food and drink water…. #RIOT

So what is the point I am trying to make. Essentially? Do not believe the hype. You will hear people talking about it all the time – “well I did the juice cleanse and it was great”. YEAH?! Well I really DID do the juice cleanse, for 10 days. I lost 11lbs and the vast majority of my sanity and social life. Oh and FYI? The weight you lose? Mostly water…..

The fitness industry loves a new spin on something. They love writing about the new exercise, the new supplement, bla bla bla oh whatever please shut up.

Patience (it was at LEAST 3 months before I saw any real differences), hard work, consistency, good real food, training, sweating, lifting, sweating more, sleeping, resisting the biscuits….. I know it sounds dull – but it’s the truth. However, it is also the truth that it ISN’T dull – not once you find ways to be smart about it. It’s taken me a year. I am stronger, faster, fitter, leaner than ever but most importantly – I am happier and smilier. (Not a word – cry me a river).

I think we will go back to nice cheery topics now – who wants to make some cake this weekend? (Bloody protein cake! Don’t delete me Kris!)

Cxx