Damn all these fit, burpee loving, consistent healthy folk. Damn them all to a chocolately carby grave… See how THEY like it.

Easter – the “holiday” (what are we ‘merican’s now?) where we celebrate the birth, no wait, the resurrection of Christ and all go to church. OR we consume massive amounts of chocolate and have some extra days off work. Whichever you choose it generally amounts to the same thing for me. Fluffy waistlines (aka FAT) and rapidly regretting the “but everyone else is eating loads” mindset.

Bah, never mind. So I’ve had like, 8 days off work? Amazingly I actually did some form of physical pursuit most days. I went out on my bike, I ran, I went to the gym a couple of times. Doesnee matter though does it? No. No it doesnee. Not when you eat enough pasta to kill Mama Italia and then wash it down with an entire tub of frozen yoghurt. Up yours Waitrose. So what if your froyo is 85kcals per serving. Come round to my house and I’ll show you what a serving is. YOU try having 1/5th of a tub when you’re 80 minutes into Paranormal Activity 3 and you’ve got to go to work in the morning. Rage.

Never mind. The pasta was lush. So was the garlic bread. And the easter egg. And the froyo. And the Itsu milk chocolate rice cakes. WHAT?! I never said this was going to be a “look at me I only eat cauliflower rice” style blog entry.

Mind you – I am actually going to try cauliflower rice tonight. First time for everything the reckon. I am feeling virtuous after my lunch time gym session. LIES. The cauliflower has been sitting in our fridge for about two weeks and I feel sorry for it so I’m going to chop it up into tiny pieces and fry it and eat it. That will cheer it up. Stole the recipe from Pinterest/The Londoner blog. She’s got goooood recipes. Nice pictures too. I sent her blog to my friend and told him to marry her. Nice wholesome girl. We need more of them. Love her thesis on dieting too. Eat some veg 80% of the time and you’ll never need to diet again. Or something like that. Either way she’s cool. I’d like to be mates with her. You hear that londoner? We’re gonna be bff’s. http://www.thelondoner.me/

So Happily Ever After… I am STILL chasing that dream of having a fun social lifestyle whilst achieving some kind of abtastic body composition for ze summerrrrr. I’ve been seeing a lot of “summer is just around the corner” type advertisements recently and I dunno if it is supposed to stress us out or what it’s purpose is but they need to chill their beans. I still maintain it’s a pretty toxic mindset to chase the “summer body”. I think it is better to have a healthy strong body all the time (with some Easter type fluctuations now and again because it’s gonna happen and there is no point crying about it).

With this in mind, I woke up this morning and was all “right… gym AND swimming today and no carbs and only water and no straying from the path of health and fitspiration”. Sigh. Will I never learn. That’s a total dipshit way of thinking. Instead I am going to channel my inner Neil – that sounds really weird – remember Neil? My buddy from up north. The best PT in the world. Fact. He isn’t a PT. He is a guru. His voice is stuck in my head and it is saying (in a geordie accent) “stop mucking about Cat – have a week and stay accountable and strong – no gimmicks – just train hard and eat proper food – but don’t drink booze and don’t slip with the nutrition”. This always, well almost always, works for me. We have our day, ok week, ok two weeks, fine fine SIX MONTHS of freestyle diet and laziness but then we realise being lazy and fat isn’t very fun so we decide to go crazy on the gym and the food restriction and it lasts like a few weeks and we get sloppy again.

Neil practices a variation where I basically have to stop whining about being fat or whatever and actually stick it out for a week. It’s almost like a reset. It makes me realise I DO have some form of willpower and I CAN say no to stuff. Or yes to cauliflower in today’s case. One thing I know is getting to the end of the week of looking back and thinking “f**k yes – I totally didn’t eat any crisps this week” feels damn good. Seriously. Try it.

So on that note this is Monday, well done Cat, you nailed that one. No excuses. As my instagram profile picture says – “winners train, losers complain”. No flies on me. Or rather no CRISPS on me.

Daily blog posts this week. Staying accountable. To the internet. Whatever.

C xx

 

(My mum is going to go mental at all the swear words in this post)